False Starts

I’m already going to take part in a Freebooted Eve Blog Banter. The topic seems so apt given what I’m currently experiencing in Eve.

First a Blog Banter intro:- Welcome to the 39th Blog Banter – the community discussion that stretches across the many communities of EVE Online through the use of arcane bloggery. The conversation is open to all and readers are encouraged to visit all of the entries that will be listed below as the discussion progresses. Be sure to leave your thoughts there when you do.

For enquiring minds who would like to know more about the Blog Banters, check out this short explanation or read this overview of the subjects covered in the last year.

After a some heavy topics in the last few editions, this time we’ll be taking a more relaxed trip through the thoughts of the blogosphere. The origins of this month’s concept come from a suggestion from EON Magazine editor Richie “Zapatero” Shoemaker.

“Some say a man’s home is his castle. For others it is wherever they lay their hat. The concept is just as nebulous in the New Eden sandbox. 

In EVE Online, what does the concept of “home” mean to you?”

Without further ado, banter on……..

I’d been here two weeks but the holiday period was over. I knew that. I recognised the signs (new names in Rookie chat –  the Eve equivalent of finding a busload of people arriving at the hotel and dominating the reception desk and then, seeking refuge by the pool, finding your favourite spot has been invaded by a new family of six from Grimsby that are all wearing  Union Jack T shirts and drinking pints – even the two year old). So I checked out of the Pator Tech hotel  (with a few toiletries in my pocket of course – they want  you to take them) and started looking for a place  to call home (or at the very least a place to dump said toiletries – civilian analyzing/salvaging stuff that I had no intention of using).

My first thought was that my  new home had to be  somewhere I could do Distribution missions (yes I appear to have a deep rooted yearning to be a courier  – my mother would be amazed- I always grumped every time she asked me to take something anywhere). But I also want to be a Researcher. And maybe a Trader. And a … Yes I have no clue. But carting stuff around high sec seems easy – I don’t get attacked  & I earn some ISK – for now that’s good enough for me. (My sights are so low even the ants look down on them.)

But here is where we get into the false starts. Oh the false starts. So many. Now one false start is acceptable. It’s kind of like premature ejaculation really – sometimes happens and in a way rather flattering (you like me that much). Two- well starts getting annoying. Get a grip man. Three – well – it’s not happening is it.

And yes I’m on my third false start of finding a home in Eve. Oh dear. If I were a man I’d be kicked out of bed. Will I ever get anywhere in this game?

The dictionary.com definition (which  would be on Shakespeare’s desktop if he were writing today) of a false start is “a failure to begin an undertaking successfully” and this seems to capture perfectly  my failed attempts so far to start a career in Eve as a Distributor with a view to later focusing on Research

False Start 1

I start running Distribution missions for Republic University. I unpack my stuff in one of their stations. I’m doing Level 1 stuff obviously. Lots of hidden dolls. All rather bizarre and I get the feeling I’m working for psychopaths (off topic – reading Jon Ronson’s The Psychopath Test- what a fascinating book. I sat there this morning running through everyone I work with wondering how many of the requirements on the Psychopath checklist they meet. The answer is too many for me to be absolutely comfortable going away on official business with them ever again.) Anyway while running the Distribution missions I start training Science up to Level 5 knowing (see I do carry out some research myself) that this is a prerequisite for the other skills you need to learn to work with a Research Agent. So far so good. (Of course my other key skills to help me manage energy & shields etc. are languishing at Levels 2 or 3 while I become some sort of protege Science expert- but  I see this as the Mozart effect – he couldn’t tie his shoe laces but could bash out a good tune. You can’t be great at everything).

So I think I’m progresing well  – getting rather cocky in fact as I snub a storyline mission from some cheeky Security Agent who writes to me.  With a dedication that would make my mother proud (even as I firmly refused to take her parcel up to the post office) I carry on with my Level 1 missions. But then  I read this excellent post where it’s pointed out that to work with a Research Agent you need

Level 1 : -3 Corporation AND either -1 Faction or corporation standing

The Research Agent I had spotted in some previous wild trip around space and liked the look of was not a Republic University Research Agent. So I was not building up any standing with him. (Not sure I even understand the standing requirements now that I relook at them again – oh god another false start  coming up …but anyway)

So I look up the Distribution Agents for the corporation I want to Research with & head over to their neck of the woods instead. I stop working with the  Republic University instantly. I don’t look back. I show no empathy or concern. Starting to think I’m one of Joh Ronson’s psychopaths.

False Start 2

So false start number 2. Here I am – suitcases in hand at Thukker Mix. I meet a Level 1 distribution Agent. We agree we might be able to work together. She’s a little more abusive to me than I’m used to with my Republic University cohorts but I can take it. I give her my best winning smile & take off – more Level 1 missions. I am adept now at moving items from my item hangar to my ship, setting destinations, warping & returning. I easily get 3 ticks on my Read Mission screen. Who said Eve was hard?

Then I read further down the post mentioned above from Foo.

When choosing a field, choose a profitable but convenient one.  There is little point grinding standing or purchasing a 10M skillbook to get 1K per datacore.

You what – 10 M skill book? Science was cheap. I might have already had it in my head in fact. Just took 3 days or so to get to Level 5. I look up the skill books for the Thukker R&D Agent skills. I look at my wallet. Oh dear.  That’s not going to be happening any time soon is it. But ok. I’m not in any rush. I quite like the idea of playing Eve in my 90s (make mental note to demand a residential home with good broadband). I’ll keep going & try not to waste any more money in the market place (& that Probe I bought wasn’t a waste was it? – it’s supposed to be a ship that’s actually good for hauling as well as probing & amazingly was in my price range if it’s ok to be left with just dirt and fluff in my wallet). Happy days,

False start 3

So I carry on with the Thukker missions. But..and have you spotted it already…I didn’t really pay full attention to every word in the Foo quote above. It said

When choosing a field, choose a profitable but convenient one.  There is little point grinding standing or purchasing a 10M skillbook to get 1K per datacore.

I’m looking to work with the Thukker R&D agent who does Mechanical Engineering and Nuclear Physics. What s the actual value of those Datacores?

I look them up. I discover they are the rarest items in the whole of Eve & I am going to be the richest person in Eve in less than a week. It’s truly amazing. They will write books about me. Or not. I’ve misunderstood the decimal point. Not the first time in my life that’s happened. 90000 or thereabouts for one of those data cores. Pittance. I quietly weep and consider resubscribing to WoW. But  I pull myself together – I’m made of stronger stuff than that- I live in Swansea for god’s sake – and start looking at the different prices of data cores on the market. One jumps out. Plasma Physics. Of course. Good old plasma physics. How could I have overlooked that obvious money spinner.  So I do an internet  search for Plasma Physics R&D agents. I find one in Duvolle Laboratories. Something like 28 jumps away but by now I’m  insane with desperation to build my standing with someone I can eventually research with and make some money. I mean how hard can this be? So I then look up  Distribution Agents in Duvolle (I am determined to stick with Distribution even though I have now developed a phobia of raggy dolls) and head over. By the time I get there  Celebrity Big Brother is on so I log off and go lie on the sofa to watch (I have no shame – I even found myself clucking affectionately over Brian Dowling)  & recover.

So have I finally found my home? Duvolle Laboratories. Not the sort of name you tend to see on little wooden plaques outside  quaint cottages but I don’t suppose there’s many of these in Eve anyway. So I”ve unpacked there, put some food in the fridge and checked out the cupboards. It seems like it could work. Of course later today I’ll probably find out that Plasma Physics datacores cannot be sold by Minimatar distributionists who have black hair until some standing with some other corp 50 million jumps away is achieved by running…yes…more Level 1 missions. But until False Start number 4 I’ll enjoy the results of  False Start number 3 and my new startlingly white laboratory home.

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