Hiatus

I noticed today how much I’ve been neglecting this blog. I have not been well  since the start of November. I won’t get into the details here  – just did a mini update over on Cutscenes for anyone interested.

But what about gaming? Well I’ve not been up to much – whenever I’ve tried anything I’ve just quickly become exhausted. I’ve unsubbed again from WoW as it’s pointless keeping it going while I feel like this. I tried to play a bit of LOTRO and then Secret World the other day but couldn’t get into either of them. Just now I played a bit of Hearthstone (first time in awhile) but found it too tiring. I started off enjoying it but it just went on too long (not the first game – that hunter beat me in seconds with a ramped up Scavenging Hyena, but the second game (also hunter) went on forever (sadly I lost that one too).

Around Xmas time I did go through a stage of playing some Minecraft Regrowth (a modpack that I love) but again I’ve just lost the will. I feel sad about all this as gaming has always been an escape and a joy for me. Gaming gave birth to this blog.  But I just can’t settle to anything for too long these days and if I concentrate too hard I just get dizzy and tired. So it’s game over.

I have been doing a bit of writing though – just some sketches and jokes. Short pieces that make me laugh. I’m also going to try some creative writing exercises. Not sure if I’ll do anything with them. Sometimes I used to game just to give myself something to write about. Maybe I’ll cut out the middle man. I’ve also been doing a bit more cooking and baking and I’m going to try making my own wine. I need to be able to potter at my own pace until I get stronger.

But all this probably means that this gaming blog is on an indefinite hiatus from today. Feels like the end of an era.

 

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Mindfulness through Blaugust

Well I’m halfway (ish) through Blaugust 2016 so thought I’d pause a moment to reflect on what it’s been like writing a daily post. I’ve never posted daily, although in the early days of Bravetank I used to do about 3-4 posts a week and do remember occasionally posting twice a in one day. Keen much?!  Things have calmed down considerably over the years.

And it is years – I had an anniversary pop up on WordPress yesterday and I’ve been blogging 5 years. And I’ve published 200 posts. Actually I’ve published more than that but I’ve turned some back to draft when I later wished I hadn’t posted them. These are usually the personal outpouring “woe is me” type posts. I write them, post them, then regret them. I hate the idea I’ve revealed too much of myself on here – not so much to people reading who I don’t know, but definitely to people reading who might know me in real life. That said, not many real life people know about the Bravetank blog, but some do and it’s when I think about them knowing this or that about me that I get uncomfortable and want to redact what I’ve said. So there are about 20 or so posts in draft which were just too personal, too revealing and show too clearly that I have a tendency to overshare!

But anyway back to Blaugust 2016. The actual doing of it has been easier than I thought it would be. I’ve got into a routine of writing a post as soon as I get up. This means I’m writing between 5-6 every morning. This routine seems to work. The biggest challenge has been ideas on what to write. I’m not someone who posts about the state of MMO gaming,  why WoW player group X are wrong and WoW player group Y are right etc. I just write to record my personal experiences and feelings when playing WoW. And I have lots of experiences and feelings when playing WoW – some happy (ooh pretty zone, yay I have new gear, double yay I survived LFR), some sad (boo more fel leggings, sob I just got told to L2P, utter trauma – Varian). But when I come to actually write a post I often forget what all those feelings were (what happened in WoW yesterday – did someone die? ) So I have started noting ideas down in draft as and when I play if something occurs to me that makes me think or when something I see makes me laugh or cry, cheer or rave.

And some of this I’ll keep doing after August. Not the daily posts – it’s eating into my pre-work playtime! But I will try to do about two a week from now on. I like the fact that Blaugust has made me more mindful about my WoW experience. By looking for ideas to write about I’ve been really engaged with the WoW world and much more aware of the things going on around me – the things I’m doing, the choices I’m making, the people I’m interacting with and how it’s all making me feel. So Blaugust for me has been less about rediscovering a passion for blogging and more about rediscovering my passion for WoW through the act of blogging – an interesting difference. And the fact this has all happened during the run up to Legion is even better because this is exactly the time I want to be engaged in the world, really feel a part of the storyline and really feel my emotions tugged and pulled and torn as the events unfold. So Blaugust is helping make this month a much deeper and richer experience.  I never thought it would give me that when I first signed up. I’m really glad to be a part of it. Here’s to the next 15 posts.