It’s not me it’s you (okay it might be me)

I’ve been playing Kolento’s Dragon Priest deck recently with everything bar Voljin (which I don’t have – I’ve replaced with Sylvanas) and it had been working out quite well up until now. But while I managed to go from rank 17 to 13 with this deck, yesterday morning was a total disaster darling (yes I’m channelling Craig Revel Horwood now – it’s that bad).

Game 1

I started against a Mage (never a favourite – too many unexpected fiery things coming right at my face). I had Power Word Shield, Azure Drake and Twilight Whelp in my starting hand. I kept all three so that I could play a buffed Twilight Whelp on turn 1 and give it some extra heath on turn 2. Yes – naive little me. It was only as I gently placed my baby whelp on the board that I remembered Frost Bolt (it’s not just the fiery stuff you have to be afraid of). The Mage had it hand (of course he did) & coined it out. Bye bye little whelp – I miss you dearly.

I had no turn 2 move & drew Velen’s Choice. Great.

The Mage had the perfect hand. He/She played Sorcerer’s Apprentice (spell costs reduced by 1) & a cheap as chips Mirror Image. I had a Holy Nova in hand. I’d show these Mirror Images what they were up against on turn 5 – yes turn 5!! – a lifetime away.  Biding my time (frustratingly) I played a Dark Cultist that was promptly dispatched by a cost reduced Flame Cannon. Cheapskate Mage then cast another reduced price spell (Arcane Intellect) & drew 2 cards. I drew Cabal Shadow Priest which (a)can’t do anything until turn 6 (b)can’t do anything much unless your opponent has an under 3 attack minion. Terrific. I could only sit there & heal myself – always the mark of the defeated on turn 4. By now the Mage had a Mana Wyrm down, a Knife Juggler & had played Unstable Portal (making the 1:3 Mana Wyrm a 2:3).  I Holy Nova’d on turn 5 (finally) but of course could not kill the Wyrm. This turned out to be a real shame (for me) as the Mage then brought out an unexpected Windspeaker (damn you Unstable Portal) & both windfuried the Mana Wyrm and cast some spell so they now had a 3/1 Mana Wyrm who could hit me for 6. I was too stunned to do much on my turn 6 apart from play Azure Drake & Power Word: Shield while giving my Cabal Shadow Priest a rather disappointed look.

I then glanced away from my computer for barely a second & when I looked back there seemed to be another Windspeaker on the board (what? how?)  and two Mirror Images. My health was down to 7. I still can’t figure out what happened. Since I didn’t have a dragon worth talking about (apart from the Welsh dragon that is forever in my heart) I could not usefully play my Blackwing Corruptor so I instead played something rubbish – I forget what – and on the next turn the Mage windfuried me to death. Thank you sir.

My rank – down from 13 to 14 just like that.

Game 2

Undeterred (but down at mouth) I went  in again. Paladin this time – and a Secrets Pally at that who coined a secret on turn 1. I had Shadow Word Pain, Azure Drake & Velen’s Choice in hand (not my choice – in a fit of pique I had thrown the initial offering back into the pot). I had nothing to play on turn 1 or turn 2. He played Muster for Battle on turn 3.  I refused to Shadow Word Pain a paltry 1:1 and instead healed myself  (take that Pally chops). He played Warhorse Trainer, turning all his 1:1s into 2:1s – awesome. Meekly I Shadow Word Pained one of them but of course he had the Avenge secret up anyway and the 3/2 buff kicked in. In return I kicked myself. By now shockingly I was 18 health (when did that happen?). I played Azure Drake (nothing else in hand but in playing this card I then lost the dragon that could have helped the Wyrmrest Agent I drew from Azure Drake – oh the irony  – Alanis quick add this to your song). More shockingly I was now 8 health and he had 8 on the board & a 1 damage weapon. Yikes. I healed myself to 10, he hit me silly for 9 and then played a cheeky Loatheb (I was too beaten to even think of playing a spell). I eventually got the right combo to play a 4 health taunt but that was all rather pointless and he despatched it & me quickly. Game over.

Game 3

Last one of the morning – a Hunter. He opened with Webspinner. I had Wyrmrest Agent but no dragon. I played it anyway just to do something. He played a secret (ah another secret deck) & I killed the Webspinner. The secret didn’t trigger so I assumed  (wrongly as it turns out) that he had Explosive Trap. He played a stealthy Jungle Panther. I hit face with my dragon & discovered his secret was Bear Trap leaving me facing a 3/3 taunted bear. I dealt with it via a quick Shadow Word Pain. The bear howled but was quickly replaced by a tricky Piloted Shredder. I put Velen’s Choice on the Wyrmrest Agent & killed the Piloted Shredder to reveal a Mad Bomber. He then played a Ram Wrangler  – a new card to me but before I had time to ooh and aah the wrangler has summoned another beast and oh no a bloody Tundra Rhino which enabled his minions to clear mine & several points of my health. I used Blackwing Corruptor for three damage on the Ram Wrangler (an Azure Drake in hand). My cunning plan was to Holy Nova his 2 health minions once I got the mana. He Kill Commanded my Blackwing Corruptor and then his minions hit me for 6 & his Eaglehorn Bow for another 3 and in a blink of an eye I had only 12 health. I finally got a chance to use my Holy Nova which raised me back to 14 but it was all too late in the day. He whispered a secret, I played Wyrmrest Agent and Azure Drake (in that order thankfully – I have done it the wrong way round before now thereby losing my chance at a taunt. Doh). He mercilessly used his hero power on my face bringing me down to 10.  I shrank one of his minions (thank you Shrinkmeister dude) to ensure that it didn’t kill my minion when I killed it (clever huh), but when I then went face I triggered explosive trap (ah there you are my old friend) & there was total and utter carnage (again with the Craig Revel Horwood) on my side of the board. I played Dark Cultist but he had his bow,  his hero power, a Quick Shot & a silence. Say no more.  Goodnight & thank you.


No more Dragon priest. I can’t win anything at this level with this deck. It’s the deck’s fault though. And a bit of bad RNG too. And maybe the phases of the moon.


This morning in a fit of “if you can’t beat them join them” I pulled together a Secrets Paladin deck and amazingly won – 2 matches out of 5 that is. And 2 of my losses were to … you guessed it – a Dragon Priest deck. Aaargh. I have to admit it – I think it might be me after all.


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