Slow, confused and fumbly

Yesterday my husband had to report three players for their behaviour in a timewalking dungeon. It’s the usual story. It was our 4th of the 5 timewalking dungeons we needed to do for the quest. The other three had been fine & we’d enjoyed seeing the older dungeons. In this one (Shattered Halls) the third Dps started by saying,”Let’s do a speed run yes?” Two trash mobs into the run and the same Dps was demanding “More Dps please”. I’ve never understood this. My husband & I were doing everything we could –  full rotations. It’s not like we were only using say half our spells and abilities for the fun of it. Anyway we carried on & the first two bosses were fine. The tank and dps talked non stop to each other during the run – about gear tiers and the hey day of vanilla etc. Husband & I kept silent – we were trying to focus on what we doing & in all honesty I probably didn’t want to draw any attention to ourselves. We are not high ilevel – I am 640, husband is 635. I know it’s scaled for Timewalking dungeons but possibly the rogue was wearing older sets from BC time & had set bonuses? I didn’t inspect him but he & tank were talking a lot about gear sets. Certainly he was doing a lot more damage than us. Maybe he was just better (perish the thought!)

Anyway during the third boss fight about three quarters through I pulled aggro & the boss started attacking me. The dps & tank started saying how useless I was. By this time my husband was typing a response to defend me. I begged him not to. I hate conflict. I just wanted us to get through the run. I somehow survived the boss’s onslaught (healing myself ) but by then they were calling out to me,  “Are you there, are you there?” I wouldn’t respond – I did not want to get drawn into a slanging match (plus I would be no good at it – I cannot fight & type). They then moved onto husband & accused him of being a bot. Again I wouldn’t let him respond (though now I wish I had). They kept on goading him & then booted him. At this point I did speak up – I said he was my husband (ie a real person) & I was going to report them. They laughed & called it a bot marriage & then said we should have spoken up. I said why should we when you have insulted us, we can’t all be as uber as you, we are just trying to gear up. At this point they booted me.

Husband immediately took down their names & submitted a ticket to Blizzard. I first tried to talk him out of it but he was insistent, saying this sort of behaviour is unacceptable. Blizzard have responded to the ticket to say they agree (that this sort of behaviour is unacceptable, not that I’m useless and husband’s a bot) & they are looking into it further. I assume from that they will check the logs? I don’t know what will happen next & suppose I never will.

I get that our Dps wasn’t good enough for this group but we were doing our best. We just wanted to run five dungeons, possibly get some gear and complete the quest. We did not speak because they were insulting us and we did not want to make it worse. I’ve seen these things degenerate into slanging matches in the past & it’s not nice. I know some people will say only do dungeons with friends/guildmates. But that’s not always an option & why should this be the case anyway? There should be a bare minimum of civility in all dungeons regardless of people’s skill and ability. Some runs will have people of different ability. Some runs will be slow. Some will have wipes. It happens. Why can’t we all just be patient with each other? Why has everything got to be a race? And in any case all this unnecessary drama usually slows the run down (the tank died shortly after booting husband and just before booting me). Surely it’s much quicker if we all just get on with it. And if someone really can’t tolerate the varying ability in LFG then perhaps they should group up with their friends/guildmates and do the run their way. Take their uberness out of the LFG gene pool for which they are clearly too good.

Or maybe there’s another way … Blizzard please please can there be an LFG box for poor dpsers like me & husband who just want some fun. This box would say “Tick here if you are slow/confused/low geared and and a tad fumbly but want to do a dungeon.” I would tick this box. There would be another box for other people to tick (kindly souls) that would say, “I am happy to be grouped up with someone slow, confused, low geared and fumbly.”  Then all us “fumbly box” tickers could play together in a slow, confused & fumbly way. Everyone in the group would know exactly what they had signed up for so there would be no judgement or rebuke, just patience, tolerance & fun. Please Blizzard – we need this box. I suspect there are many people in Azeroth who do not have a friend/guild network to draw on & end up missing out on the dungeon side of WoW because of experiences like the one I had yesterday. But if we could easily find each in the world by ticking a box then we might never feel harassed or bullied again (and added bonus for all the super duper awesome dpsers out there – they would never have to see us again).

I’m still shook up by what happened. What little confidence I was slowly rebuilding is gone again. I went to bed upset last night & that’s not what I want from this game. Just when I thought things were different I realise that nothing is different. Plus ca change and all that. I’m sad today.




12 thoughts on “Slow, confused and fumbly

  1. So sorry to hear about this experience. I have only done Timewalkers the first few times. Not this current months. I tried it two ways. Once in full heroic Wrath Tier and top end gear, fully enchanted and gems. And I was 4th for DPS. So I did another in my at the time 695 gear. I did a little better but still was 4th. I don’t understand the gear reduction things they do. Not sure if Pandaria legendaries make a difference or not. All I know is I felt very bad about how I did. And I have not been back.

    I do like the idea you came up with. I too would check off that box.

    1. It’s not good when a dungeon run can make you feel bad & not want to go back in. Seems like the box would have some support though – I need to get Blizzard to read this!!

  2. I might even do dungeons if they had a box labeled “people who would like to play the game for fun and fellowship.”

    I am not competitive, I play for escapism. If I want obnoxious people I could just stay here IRL, We need a way to find others like us, I know we’re out there.

    1. Judging by the comments I think there’s lots of us out there & the current system just doesn’t work for us. And that’s a shame. But it’s also a shame we have to think like this – people should be able to be civil to each other at least. But obviously that’s not always (usually?) the case – in game & IRL unfortunately.

    2. I can be quite hardcore with my play at times and even i would love that box too – elitists are no fun to play with at all. I’d rather wipe a dozen times than have a smooth run with that kind of bickering

  3. I would love a “fumbly box”. I’m pretty experienced and well geared, but I always have more fun playing with friendly and inexperienced people than the go-go-go type. I’m sorry you had a stressful experience. 😦

    1. Thank you. I’m glad there are people like you around. When I do meet them on dungeon runs its always good – the run is pleasant & fun 🙂

  4. It sounds like you just ran into a particularly bad group, they’re certainly out there. Sometimes you can just gut it out and get through…tempting when you’re almost ready to level up or have a quest goal…but when several players are awful, I personally just drop out of the dungeon. Maybe reporting them will have some future effect on them. Sorry you guys had to go through this.

    1. Yes you’re right & with hindsight we should have left when they asked for a speedrun. But we just really wanted to do the 5 dungeons & the other runs had been fine. Never mind. Wasn’t to be. And if reporting them does have a positive effect & makes them at least think twice about behaving like that in future that will be a good thing.

  5. First off: the “fumbly box” or “playing for fun” box is a very valid design decision, and a really good idea, and with crossrealm lfg the further fragmentation of the playerbase (allready seperated per difficulty and certain regions, etc, all of which adds to queue length), might not be too bad. I think it would solve a lot more problems than it creates. The important thing being that the choice of funbox or not has NO gameplay relevance whatsoever (no “i did it for the fun of it” achievement or anything like that).

    About the incident as you mention, its the same reason i despair of LFR, LFG, random BGs, etc.
    Sometimes people are just jerks, and I can just hope blizz are smart enough to realize it when it happens, and take according actions, even if they arent reported back.
    That said I would always advocate communication. I dont know your husband, but im thinking he might not be a “rude person” 🙂 and would likely have answered in reasonable tones. Not that i think it would have helped much as you describe the situation, but saying something like “we’d rather not go for a speedrun” at the beginning *might* have diffused the situation (ok probably not but i know it could in other situations), or at least made it even more apparent to the last two what your intentions were.

    About the report. Absolutely every freaking time. If someone is being a jerk to you, ignore if you want, answer if you want, but always report him. Think of it as a community service. Maybe you don’t care whether he gets his come-uppings, but you strike me as someone who would like to help however you could to make it less likely for this to happen to someone else. Enough reports might get the guy banned, even if only temporary its still some amount of time where he isnt harassing others. And lord knows, maybe he even gets the message and stops being an ass, even if only out of fear of bans, thats still better than nothing.

    Ranting sorry.

    Crossing fingers for better runs to come.

  6. I wouldn’t mind such a checkbox. I tend to be pretty well-geared on most of my alts and usually know what I’m doing, but I also have always found it more fun, helpful, and useful to teach players what they’re doing wrong (in a polite way) than to be a jerk about it. I mean “UR deeps suck” doesn’t help anybody, but stuff like “talent X is better for your spec” or “use ability Y more often” can be helpful as long as you present it in a non-abrasive way.

    Yes, you can indeed do cool things with gearing sets because of the scaling. You can use multiple tier sets (getting multiple set bonuses), and even use multiple legendaries (ring, cloak, meta-gem, and weapon) simultaneously. You can also take advantage of sockets/gems and heirlooms to “twink out” your toons even further. That said, if fiddling with maximizing gear isn’t something you find fun to do in and of itself, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. It certainly isn’t necessary. Timewalking is supposed to be fun, so have fun and don’t worry too much about the dps.

    For the record, the boss I believe you’re referring to (the 2-headed ogre) drops aggro and fixates on a random player. The tank cannot taunt it off of you (because of the fixate effect), so the healer is supposed to just to heal you through the damage. It isn’t anything you did that caused it, it’s just the way his mechanics work, so don’t worry about that. It’s weird that anybody would give you a hard time over it, unless maybe they also didn’t know about that.

    As for the rest, well, jerks are going to be jerks, try not to let them bother you. There are by far more kind/courteous people playing than there are jerks, it’s just that sometimes it’s hard to remember the 4 groups of polite people when the 5th group is full of d-bags. Keep your chin up and remember regardless of whether they’re a better player than you, you are clearly the better *person,* which is by far the more important, in my book.

    I’m by no means an expert on everything, but I have a pretty decent working knowledge of most things wow and I enjoy helping folks learn. I’m happy to answer questions and the like to the best of my ability. If you need help, hit me up on my blog (just click my name).

    1. You’re right – it is easy to forget the good groups (or the groups that didn’t say anything – I’d prefer a silent run over an abusive one any day!). It must have been the boss you mention (I was wondering why the tank didn’t taunt it off me). We should have left at the start & certainly before it got to the stage it did, but there you go. Thanks for the offer of help – I’m now following your blog 🙂

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