Madam Mildred

I think writing is a bit like exercise (but without the sweating obviously – if you find you’re sweating a lot while you’re writing you might be having a heart attack – don’t forget to save your draft).

Basically though you have to keep writing or you get a bit out of practice. So here I am again.

I’ve been doing a bit of levelling with my human priest and once again running around Elwynn Forest. It’s surprising how nostalgic I feel in that part of the world. Because it’s been such a long time since I last quested there I find I am somewhat less resentful of all the running around they make me do. Only somewhat though and I am a little creeped out by the Maybell/Tommy storyline..

Firstly the general weirdness starts with that William Pestle. He’s a bit strange isn’t he? He’s standing around out in Goldshire’s inn – not the most pleasant place in the world and the first thing he says to me (a complete stranger don’t forget) is

you seem like the helpful type –  ok insincere flattery. I use this line on my husband whenever I want him to do something.

How about doing an old man a favor? – creepy

The last time I was over at the Maclure Vineyards (stealing grapes?) I overheard Maybell crying in her cottage (were you hiding round the back?). Would you be so kind as to go check up on her? I’m a little worried. – umm ok but why didn’t you ask her at the time? Were you breaking some sort of restraining order just by being within 5 feet of her?

Of course it turns out Maybell is just some Romeo and Juliet wannabe , dramatically crying:-

Oh, I’m cursed! My heart belongs to Tommy Joe Stonefield, but our families are bitter enemies. So I can’t see him, even though my eyes ache to gaze upon that handsome face!

But Tommy is somewhat less than impressive when we meet him

 Go get my Granny. I need my Granny. Wah wah do (I paraphrase but only slightly)

Granny s the no nonsense liberated type and is willing to do what it takes for Maybell and Tommy to get together “for just a little while.” (doing a whole Monty Python Eric Idle nudge nudge wink wink bit after saying this – probably).

The whole thing is just a little seedy and gets seedier still when it turns out that the only person who can make the “potion” that will sort things out is good old William himself. Oh what a remarkable coincidence.  What are Granny and William really up to? Her note is clearly code for god knows what and I notice he puts “Gramma” in inverted commas (I imagine him doing some elaborate airquotes as he speaks) suggesting she’s not really a Gramma (perhaps the correct term here is “Madam” – just saying). However, he calls her Mildred and says he’s not seen her in years – hmm not even when you were just across the way skulking around the Maclure Vineyards William?

So off you go and take the invisibility potion (bottle of vodka?) to Maybell. She presumably drinks it and then staggers off to have her “special moment” with Tommy. What a lovely lovely quest. Of course (WoD spolier alert) they end up married and living in Lunarfall so presumably it all works out okay. Or is the marriage some sort of cover and they’ve basically taken over from William and Granny “Madam” Stonefield running some dubious escort service from your garrison in Lunarfall. Oh well if it keeps the gold rolling in who am I to judge?


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