I am (not) Legend

Although I’ve recently been getting back into WoW, Hearthstone remains my obsession. But I’m so frustrated at the fact I remain around rank 13-14 month after month. Try as I might I can’t get down to those single figures, and Legend status remains but a dream.

Every month I find I have a really good run of it with some deck I’ve seen on Hearthpwn. I quickly get down to 14. This is it, I think, I’m on my way. I’ve finally got a deck that works for me. Each game becomes a thing of beauty, a ballet of elegant moves. There is nothing my opponent can put on the board that I haven’t got an answer for, while at the same time I’m pushing and pushing, inch by inch. By around turn 6 they are hysterically emoting  – I maintain a dignified silence –  too cool to squelch. But then something changes – normally after I show real commitment to the deck by giving it a name in my collection. That really is the Hearthstone kiss of death for me. Maybe Rumpelstiltskin was right – names have power. The next game I play is usually the start of the losing streak – my hard won stars start disappearing before my teary eyes, one by bloody one. Panic sets in & I start to tweak my deck here & there – subbing out those cards that I find remain in my hand too long (stupid Stampeding Kodo, always around when there’s no two attack creature on the board, you’re dead to me). By the time I finish the deck is unrecognisable from the one I took from Heathpwn. I win a couple of times with the new deck and a renewed optimism sets in (I’m nothing if not resilient). Yes I’ve cracked it, I think. And better still this is now my own deck, it’s nothing like the one I started with. Once I’m Legend I can put it up on Hearthpwn & get lots and lots of praise and upvotes for having created the first truly unique deck since the game began, a deck that beats EVERYTHING in the current meta. They might end up naming this style deck after me. Forget Zoo, what about Bravetank, it’s unbeatable. I start planning what I’m going to say when I’m interviewed on The Angry Chicken and I start looking up How to Guides for streaming on Twitch (sponsorship deals can come later). By now I’m in the heady heights of… well… rank 14….

And then of course the deck stops working (definitely the deck – nothing to do with me or my skills, no sirree). Three losses in a row & I’m dramatically quitting the game and vowing never to return. Husband endures a good hour of me complaining about the fact that despite playing for a nearly a year I still don’t have Ysera or Alexstrasza and that bloody priest mind controlled my Rag etc. He doesn’t play so this is all just Blah Blah Blah to him but he manages to tut sympathetically as he watches the football. An hour later I’m logging back in having been inspired by yet another deck I’ve found on Hearthpwn. And so it begins again.

So where am I now you ask? Well I’m currently Level 13 playing this deck. The comments on the deck are encouraging. They suggest I’ll get to Legend in no time. But you know it’s just a matter of time before I run into a Control Warrior who has somehow lined up Rag, Ysera, Cairne and Alexstrasza all at once while I have a Houndmaster & Flare. So then I’ll go off and tweak the deck a little to make it more anti control, and then I’ll lose to Zoo, and then I’ll curse the heavens with a tear stained face and give the game up, this time for good, yada yada yada.

You get the picture. I’m am not Legend. I am not even close to Legend. But I’m trying – ever so hard.


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