Dr Tank or: How I learnt to stop worrying and kill my Healer

It’s too boring all this sensible dungeon running- you know where the Tank keeps aggro, the Dps understand their role and don’t pull and the Tank looks out for the Healer (even permitting mana breaks and checking that the Healer is remotely in the same vicinity before pulling). Yes that’s so booorring. Where’s the excitement? Where’s the risk? And more to the point playing this way keeps the Healer sane & alive. Who wants a sane and alive healer?  No one these days it seems. So here’s my top 8 tips to running Setthek Halls (just one dungeon chosen at random …not …I repeat not…because my Discipline Priest just emerged from there all dazed and confused) in such a way as to cause maximum mental and physical damage to your Healer (and come on admit it – you  know that’s what you really want to do. There’s no other explanation for the way this dungeon is run).

1. In general there are a number of enemies in Sethekk Halls that can fear party members including the Healer. Tank – if this happens and you end up dying please please quickly type  “FFS healer” into party chat – they deserve nothing less even though it was you who pulled several groups at once and even though every single party member was therefore taking an inordinate amount of damage. No – ensure the Healer knows that they should have been able to heal the group- indeed what sort of Healer can’t heal when feared?

2. The Time Lost Controller casts Charm Totems that can mind control members of the group. So definitely definitely don’t kill the totems & definitely definitely don’t kill the Controller before he can cast more totems – you want as many totems around  you as you can. Remember your goal is to turn the Healer into a gibbering wreck – preferably a DEAD gibbering wreck.

3. Don’t CC the Avian Darkhawks and Avian Rippers  no matter how many of them there are (in fact general dungeon tip: don’t CC anything – the developers put CC abilities in the game as an in-joke – only noobs use them). Gather up as many birds as you can (channel the Birdman of Alcatraz or something) and let them have at you.

4.  Some mobs cast  chain lightening – to get maximum effect from this ensure the Dps stands as tightly grouped together as possible and of course do not even think of turning the mob  around to avoid the Dps. Where’s the bloody fun in that? And if the healer tries to stand well back to avoid the chain lightening then teach him/her a lesson by running off as fast as you can in the opposite direction so that you go out of the reach of his/her heals. Do this well & anyone in the same house as the Healer will find themselves staring aghast at this monster at the computer who is using language so vulgar that even the fish look shocked (and fish can swear I tell you).

5. Time Lost Shadow Mage – seek them out, seek them out – they can destroy your health in seconds. If – happily – this happens just as the Healer is charmed or feared  then pat yourself on the back. All you need is a wipe & a “FFS healer” and it’s job well done.

6. Setthek Initiate – their magic reflection ability enables them to  reflect spells. This is a great chance to get the Dps in on the fun too. As a general rule Tank & Dps should try to coordinate all damage taken so that the health of the entire group drops as quickly and dramatically as possible (preferably when the Healer is taking a well signalled  mana break).

7. 1st boss – Darkweaver Syth. He summons elemental minions who can deal a great deal of damage but are easy to kill. So logically you must ignore them & focus only on Syth no matter how many of them appear. Indeed you want as many of them around as possible because the Healer will then have their work cut out keeping everyone up. This is great. Exactly what you want. As an added perk if you’re a Warlock repeatedly cast Hellfire to drive your health down. Then get your mana back by life tapping like there’s no tomorrow. Excellent work.

8. 2nd boss – Talon Ikiss. His arcane explosion does around 4000 damage. If he blinks to you you must stand right where you are to take as much damage as possible. Rebuke anyone trying to break line of sight by hiding behind a pillar – they are clearly  not on message (and remember the message is “We hate all Healers”).

And that’s it – 8 quick tips to destroy your Healer in one dungeon run. And you never know – seeing as I’m starting to think all Healers (myself included) are complete masochists – they’ll probably even agree to do another run with you when Sethekk Halls is finished. Then you can start all over again. Enjoy.


15 thoughts on “Dr Tank or: How I learnt to stop worrying and kill my Healer

  1. Say, Setthek… isn’t that the one with stupid ‘trash’ birds heaping a TONNE(!) of bleed damage on the tank?
    I did them at-level back in BC as tank, and then re-ran them at 80 for the mount, and I remember going “I’m 80, where did 25K of my health go?!?!”. Why did I *not* pack my lunch sandwich from the friendly vendors in Dalaran before coming here?

  2. BraveTank,

    I’m soooo sorry. The jerks in the game seem to out number the good people at times. I hope that your next excursion with your healer turns into a happier experience.


  3. The best way I found to maintain my sanity (ironically also whilst levelling a disc-priest) was to never hesitate to leave a group that was dysfunctional. I just made a pact to myself that I would not tolerate any crap or disrespect. Yes, I became that healer that drops in an instant (mid fight no less) at the first sign of “FSS wear R mi HEALZ”. Make sure to put them on /ignore so you never need to group with them again.

    1. I didn’t realise /ignore would work that way – was wondering if you did it what would happen if you ended up in a group with that person again. Glad that it means you don’t actually get to group with them again. I’ll start to use that more I think!

  4. I can only hope that newbie healers can find friends to do instances with, because right now you pretty much have to know what you are doing; most tanks are not prepared to be patient; it’s all go-go-go.

    I’ve been running a healer alt through low level dungeons for the past month. Typically you get the heirloom-clad tank who thinks he can pull every group in sight because of his giant health pool, and as you say, the fact that 6-7 of those mobs are likely to Silence, Charge-stun, Fear, or Polymorph the healer doesn’t seem to enter his tiny head. I even had a DK wearing cloth heirlooms who thought he was invincible, I kid you not.

    If/when the tank dies I do not blame myself, not at all. I either say – “too many mobs are CCing me, so stop pulling so many” or I point out their gear deficiencies so everyone else can see where the blame lies. If that doesn’t work then I suggest they find another healer – no skin off my nose if they want to kick me (although no-one has).

    Tips for the low level healer:
    Generally as healer I would advise you to stand close to the tank or melee, so that any healing aggro you can pass onto the tank quickly. Most mobs are doing single target damage only in normal instances, so cleaves are not an issue. If in doubt stand behind mobs.

    Don’t care about the dps dying if the whole party is taking a pounding – keep yourself and the tank alive; even with just 2 of you left alive you can get through most things.

    Don’t be afraid to ‘shout’ out instructions, or place Raid markers on the things you want the dps to kill; remember most dps are unaware of mob abilities and probably don’t care about them – pew pew is all they are interested in. As the brains of the group you can take control without the group even realising.

    Finally, get yourself the pvp trinket. Being able to break out of CC can be a life saver. If you are ‘lucky’ enough to be a Human, use your racial.

    1. Thank you – great tips – particularly the PvP trinket. I forgot about that & as she is draenei I don’t have the human racial. It’s the tank lack of patience that irritates me beyond belief – they don’t speak, then just run through everything & then leave at the end without saying a word. I wish we could vote them down or something every time they do it – you don’t say Hello? well that’s one vote against you which means one piece of your armor is now trashed! That would change things.

  5. Ha-Ha this brought back memories as my wife and I ran this as a 2 man (technically man and woman) at the appropriate level. It took a few attempts as we had to come up with a way of dealing with Talon Ikiss. The CC the mobs do did cause us a few ‘interesting’ moments but it was probably easier and more fun than what you described above, the time lost controllers were prime targets. It is sad that people never seem to target totems, they are always going to make things more complicated.

  6. LoL I love your posts so much!

    And yeah, luckily when I lvld Shibu through those dungeons, I only visited this dungeon once…mind you all of the partymembers had looms and we still managed to wipe on some trash because nobody destroyed the totems.

    “KILL THE TOTEMS” I manage to yell inbetween my furious heals, but the party only replies, (after death of course) “what totems?” right after WTF healer! ofc :p


    1. Aww thanks 🙂 I’m not going in there again- I just can’t take it. I love the “What totems” !! Says it all doesn’t it – particularly after a WTF Healer!

  7. I know I’ve said this before (and my main’s a tank), but as a Disco-Priestess you have a new mini-game for those who deserve it.
    Health drops. How low can it go? You’re Disc! Bubble. Pain suppression. Trickle-heals (renew doesn’t heal that much). Mark the tank with the blue blockhead icon (double-points if the hunter tries to trap him!)

    I know, it’s not for everyone. But still….mwuaahahaaaaa….

    Perhaps I shouldn’t have rolled a Disc-Priest after rolling a Warlock?

    It’s really quite astounding how many tanks are a bit more cautious after their health drops to 30% and kinda just hovers around there

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