Dr Tank or: How I learnt to stop worrying and kill my Healer
It’s too boring all this sensible dungeon running- you know where the Tank keeps aggro, the Dps understand their role and don’t pull and the Tank looks out for the Healer (even permitting mana breaks and checking that the Healer is remotely in the same vicinity before pulling). Yes that’s so booorring. Where’s the excitement? Where’s the risk? And more to the point playing this way keeps the Healer sane & alive. Who wants a sane and alive healer? No one these days it seems. So here’s my top 8 tips to running Setthek Halls (just one dungeon chosen at random …not …I repeat not…because my Discipline Priest just emerged from there all dazed and confused) in such a way as to cause maximum mental and physical damage to your Healer (and come on admit it – you know that’s what you really want to do. There’s no other explanation for the way this dungeon is run).
1. In general there are a number of enemies in Sethekk Halls that can fear party members including the Healer. Tank – if this happens and you end up dying please please quickly type “FFS healer” into party chat – they deserve nothing less even though it was you who pulled several groups at once and even though every single party member was therefore taking an inordinate amount of damage. No – ensure the Healer knows that they should have been able to heal the group- indeed what sort of Healer can’t heal when feared?
2. The Time Lost Controller casts Charm Totems that can mind control members of the group. So definitely definitely don’t kill the totems & definitely definitely don’t kill the Controller before he can cast more totems – you want as many totems around you as you can. Remember your goal is to turn the Healer into a gibbering wreck – preferably a DEAD gibbering wreck.
3. Don’t CC the Avian Darkhawks and Avian Rippers no matter how many of them there are (in fact general dungeon tip: don’t CC anything – the developers put CC abilities in the game as an in-joke – only noobs use them). Gather up as many birds as you can (channel the Birdman of Alcatraz or something) and let them have at you.
4. Some mobs cast chain lightening – to get maximum effect from this ensure the Dps stands as tightly grouped together as possible and of course do not even think of turning the mob around to avoid the Dps. Where’s the bloody fun in that? And if the healer tries to stand well back to avoid the chain lightening then teach him/her a lesson by running off as fast as you can in the opposite direction so that you go out of the reach of his/her heals. Do this well & anyone in the same house as the Healer will find themselves staring aghast at this monster at the computer who is using language so vulgar that even the fish look shocked (and fish can swear I tell you).
5. Time Lost Shadow Mage – seek them out, seek them out – they can destroy your health in seconds. If – happily – this happens just as the Healer is charmed or feared then pat yourself on the back. All you need is a wipe & a “FFS healer” and it’s job well done.
6. Setthek Initiate – their magic reflection ability enables them to reflect spells. This is a great chance to get the Dps in on the fun too. As a general rule Tank & Dps should try to coordinate all damage taken so that the health of the entire group drops as quickly and dramatically as possible (preferably when the Healer is taking a well signalled mana break).
7. 1st boss – Darkweaver Syth. He summons elemental minions who can deal a great deal of damage but are easy to kill. So logically you must ignore them & focus only on Syth no matter how many of them appear. Indeed you want as many of them around as possible because the Healer will then have their work cut out keeping everyone up. This is great. Exactly what you want. As an added perk if you’re a Warlock repeatedly cast Hellfire to drive your health down. Then get your mana back by life tapping like there’s no tomorrow. Excellent work.
8. 2nd boss – Talon Ikiss. His arcane explosion does around 4000 damage. If he blinks to you you must stand right where you are to take as much damage as possible. Rebuke anyone trying to break line of sight by hiding behind a pillar – they are clearly not on message (and remember the message is “We hate all Healers”).
And that’s it – 8 quick tips to destroy your Healer in one dungeon run. And you never know – seeing as I’m starting to think all Healers (myself included) are complete masochists – they’ll probably even agree to do another run with you when Sethekk Halls is finished. Then you can start all over again. Enjoy.