Here at Azeroth Match.com we want to help YOU find your true love. Today our featured heart-throb is none other than Muradin Bronzebeard- exciting explorer, fantastic fighter and sexy steam tank collector. Fan yourselves down and come meet old Muradin. If you’re interested send him a wink- who knows he might wink back (actually more likely to be a blink- Muradin never quite learnt the art of winking- but think of a blink as double the wink and you won’t be disappointed).
Ok tell us about yourself Muradin.
What can I say. I’m kind, generous, loving with a great sense of humour.
What about your family?
Well I’m the middle child. Can’t say I’ve ever really liked that. My older brother Magni was always the responsible one and Brann was the cool one. But my mother always said, “Muri Muri you may not have the brains and you may not have the looks. You sometimes also look like you need a damn good wash, but when the doctor held you up on the day you were born and we saw you was a lad…and boy what a lad if you know what I mean…me and your dad knew you wouldn’t struggle in life with the ladies. Do you get what she was saying there? Have you written that down? That’s an important bit for the feature. Shall I spell it out…W..E…L…L…E…N…D…O..W….oh you’ve got it. Right right. Well I just wanted to be sure.
Any memorable events in your life?
Well I wouldn’t say memorable…more unmemorable …since I lost my memory …haha. Unmemorable!! Actually don’t know why I’m laughing. It’s not at all funny. It traumatised me that did. I still wake up screaming each night- blood curdling screams that would wake the dead (in fact the undead couple two doors up always complain). Aside from that though I’m an excellent bed companion…if you know what I mean (blink blink).
What are your three best qualities?
Loyalty, loyalty, and loyalty. I’m loyal to everyone – even when they leave me for dead. Yes I’m talking about Arthas. I never took against him when he left me in Frostmourn Cavern. Yes I did go after him in the end – him and followers – in a gunship. Yes I did swear vengeance on the whole bloody lot of them. But that was just me in a temper. I’m over it now. I can even laugh about it – me and Arthas in the cavern, me all “Don’t do it Arthas, don’t do it, it’s cursed”, and Arthas all, “I have to do it. It’s my destiny Muradin,” and then all that ice flying towards me, Arthas taking the sword and leaving me for dead. Oh it’s all quite funny when you think about it. Tears of laughter these are not because of the total and utter betrayal I suffered at the hands of that man that BROKE MY BLOODY HEART. No No. Tears of laughter. Umm can I have a moment please?
Ok…are you feeling alright to continue?
((Sniffs then nods))
Ok- tell us about your worse qualities then?
Trust. I trust the wrong people. And then I get betrayed by someone who BROKE MY BLOODY…ok ok I’m not going there again. Hmmm other worse qualities… oh I know…can’t read a map to save my life. And as founder member of the Explorers Guild that didn’t half cause me some problems.
On the subject of travelling – what’s your favourite holiday destination?
Well I used to have a soft spot for Northrend – good skiing there – but that was before the incident. Now I live in terror of visiting the place again. Did you notice I said “No Vrykul” in my preferences. Can’t go out with one of those (sorry Vrykul ladies – old Muri is off limits). Much as I like their thighs (seen them crack nuts between them – not mine though thank god) it would be no good because I’d never be able to face visiting the in-laws and that would cause a ruccus.
Well…there was this one occasion when I led my friend Arthas to the Frostmourne. I think I might have mentioned it earlier…. plays on me quite a bit to be honest. I knew it was cursed but he looked at me with those big old eyes and I couldn’t resist. He used to get sweets out of me the same way. He took the blade and that’s the last I remember. It’s all a bit of a blur after that. So yes with hindsight I wish I’d distracted him in some way (“ooh look at the birdy” always used to work on Arthas- frustrated ornithologist he was) and then I could have got us both the hell out of there. But it wasn’t to be.
What was the greatest movement in your life?
Becoming King of the Frostborn. King!! Did you get that? I think that’s important for the feature. Magni was pig sick when he heard. Thought he was the only King in the family. But I showed them all. Admittedly the Frostbourn are quite a smallish clan. And they’ve got some odd ways it has to be said. But I’m their King. Oh- I also enjoyed it when Magni got turned to stone. Sorry. Got to be honest here. It did make me laugh. Brann & I were bent over laughing when we saw him. I still go in the room now for a look when I’m feeling down. Doesn’t half bring a smile to my face.
Final word for any prospective partners out there?
Well I’d like to finish on a poem if I may…
I’m Muradin Muradin short and stout,
If you’re lucky I’ll take you out
With my secret key your heart will unlock
I’ll give you a clue – it’s my massive great co…
Whoa we’ll stop there I think. Thank you Muradin.