Carry on Matron

I am a gibbering wreck. My neighbours have been around with concerned faces having heard such screaming they feared the house had been invaded by thugs. They were  one step away from calling the police (or priest given the language they heard through the walls – they  feared some sort of Exorcist crisis). I cry every night. Last night the futility of it all hit me and I wrapped myself up in a blankie and cried out to be in Africa again (never actually been- but I like the line …from a film with Meryl Streep – “Out of somewhere” – I forget where.)

Anyway you’ve probably guessed why I’m in such a state. The clue is in the title but just in case think orphan, inappropriate day trips for said orphan, think a Matron title that I never knew I wanted so badly (husband has offered to use it but not in quite the same context) and you have the cause of my despair. School of Hard Knocks.

What a hard soul destroying achievement. I actually howled in pain with it last night. Howled!

I have finally done it though. About 5 mins ago in fact. I can barely type for the euphoria. And relief. It’s finally over. Child, get thee back to the orphanage. Never darken my door again.

I did AB first – a few days ago. It was ok – won’t say easy but definitely the easiest of the 4. I think it is a BG I will enjoy (up until this week I’d only been in WSG  under the mistaken impression that it’s the best BG for beginners – it so isn’t –  I will say more on this in a sec – just getting my soapbox out of the cupboard where husband has hidden it).

Next up was AV. Well my journey into full blown insanity began here. It turned out to be basically a race against your own side to one of the towers. Everytime I heard that  orphan whistle as we waited my heart sunk a little more until it was saying hello to my toes.  Geewhizz – how many orphans are they in Azeroth? And why are they all little psychopaths who want to visit battlegrounds.  Can’t they just occupy themselves begging or something. Then we’d start & I’d do my usual crazy nervous things (forget to mount, interrupt my own mounting to do something else like walk off a cliff,  run back into the tunnel – everything but get to the head of the pack as Cynwise’s (he is a god I tell you) brilliant guide tells you quite clearly to do. What felt like one hundred attempts later I was finally able to start AV like a pro – on a mount riding in  roughly the same direction as the others.  I tried to head  for the last two towers assuming everyone else would impatiently go for one of the first two, but I don’t know- I think everyone had the same idea – we all bottlenecked at the end  several times & it got rather nasty. But then- 50th or so attempt (by now husband was giving me a wide berth as I snarled and growled at anyone & everything that came near) I found myself alone in the 2nd tower. I could not believe it. I could barely click I was so excited/nervous. But I finally did it & my whole street celebrated. Two down 🙂

Then EotS. Again sort of enjoyed that one & it didn’t take too long. But the eye of the storm was just the calm before the storm (yes I know – that sentence construction is almost Shakesperean in its profundity) –  next up was WSG.

Ok soapbox is out.  Leaving aside the achievement for a sec- just generally why do people say start in WSG if you’re a PVP beginner? I think it’s a tricky one to get your head around to begin with. This leads to newcomers doing it all wrong (I was one of  those of course – thinking I was uber for killing the odd horde in the middle as flags sailed past me either side). And then when you do know what to do you quickly start to despise everyone who doesn’t. In this morning’s BG I was so frustrated everytime I was on my own trying to kill the efc and everyone else was out in the middle that I actually typed some stuff in chat…not abusive  (although of course I did that verbally) …but asking for some support (just one person …one). Never thought I’d ever be so brave.  I even ended up grabbing the Horde flag at one point (even though I was trying to get the achievement) because I was so fed up of no one else doing it (they were all on a killing spree in the middle of the field). I then ran on my own across the field – no back up – until 5 or 6  Hordies killed me & made some gestures 😦  I then ressed, ran back in & found the efc & tried my best to down him – taking out the healer  first. But the efc was well defended and there was no one else around me & so again I failed again. And my bloody freeloading orphan was no use – just stood around playing marbles or something. I tried to sell him to the Horde to use in the lumber mills but they weren’t having it.

I really think this achievement should be changed. Let it be pick up an enemy flag with your orphan out at least (much easier), or win a WSG with orphan out. In fact perhaps all four of the BG ones  should be the latter because at least that would encourage the right BG behaviours and team spirit (I think) as opposed to an often selfish achievement focused dog eat dog (and cat tickle cat?) affair.

But I will say my pvp skills have improved through doing so many of these BGs. I respecced frost yesterday, reglyphed, gemmed etc. My resilience is up to 2400 which isn’t brilliant I know but is  heading in the right direction. I have fine tuned my action bar. And I’m doing all sorts of snazzy  things like freezing, ice lancing, cold coning, deep freezing, ice cubing, refrigerating & thawing (when I’m unplugged). Eat your heart out Mr Frosty. My reactions are definitely  getting quicker. Had a bit of a nightmare earlier though- was trying to bring a healer down & was throwing everything at him but to no avail. Then I ran a bit further on & saw another healer hidden behind the wall healing him. The bloody swines. What’s that all about? Just not cricket. Froze them both  & run away in a relatively dignified manner (hands flailing a bit I admit).

But what of the WSG orphan achievement? Well I have finally done it – but it was all down to a lovely Hordie who let himself be killed repeatedly while a group of us queued up to return the flag. And we all helped each other until everyone had it (aside from the 1st person who returned the flag & then promptly left without saying a word). It was a lovely display of kindness and generosity. Then once we all had the achievement normal battleground resumed & – guess what- I bloody returned the flag again! BG after BG I’ve failed to do it with my orphan out – then afterwards I do it with relative (ish) ease. I even found myself calling out strats by the end of that BG- confidence reaching ridiculous heights. And  we won!!! And I gained lots of honor. What a day 🙂  And finally finally you can all call me Matron 🙂


20 thoughts on “Carry on Matron

  1. Once again, congratulations! I can totally imagine what you went through to get the achievement, and how it felt at the end. As badly designed as this one is, it’s still one of the few that are still worthy of being called “achievements”. 😉

    I actually got the WSG part of the achievement on my hunter almost by accident, just for s*** and giggles – I did a ninja flag run unopposed by the enemy team (the one time you love random BGs where everyone ignores the flag) and was so lucky I actually ran into a lone enemy trying to leave our base with the flag at the same time.

    He used to be a flag carrier, but then he took an arrow to the knee (and to the chest, and to the head…) and I was soon the proud owner of 2 flags & a well-educated orphan. 🙂

    Arathi Basin also came easily enough, damn I love that BG.

    I won’t even bother with the rest, though. For one thing because I wouldn’t use the title much, but mainly because capping a flag in Eye of the Storm feels so hypocritical to me after starting EVERY BG by telling people the flag is noob bait and we should just control 3 towers to win… 🙂

  2. You *wanted* to be called Matron? It’s a bit dowdy don’t you think? 😉

    Congratulations. AB can be more fun but also more frustrating – but I’m glad you’re having so much fun in BGs – the more resil the better and you’re going to get better the more you play! Mages kill me like nobody’s business so I’m sure you’ll be murdering Melee the world over in short order.

    1. My thoughts exactly! A matron brings to mind some grandmotherly old lady sitting in a church pew smiling benignly at children handing out programmes. Not that there’s anything wrong with being one, but it’s definitely not an ambition of mine to be one. :p

    2. I hadn’t thought of it as dowdy ….but now you mention it yes…hmmm – might go back to being The Noble after a week or so! 🙂 Yes surprisingly I am enjoying BGs- looking forward to doing them now without the orphan tagging along!

  3. ” just generally why do people say start in WSG if you’re a PVP beginner?”

    They do??? /mind boggled

    The general rule I notice is, the bigger the battleground, the better it is for beginners. Which means WSG is among the worst for beginners. Let me explain why this is to my thinking.

    Quite simply, with a huge raid group, you can easily hide among the people and join clumps here and there to follow in battle. Plus with a huge map, it is even entirely possible for you to go from objective to objective without once engaging the enemy. And if some new players bumble about not knowing what to do, they still comprise only a relatively small % of the total army, so to speak.

    With a tiny group such as that in WSG, there’s no place to hide. (The layout of WSG makes for pretty bad hiding, too, btw.) You’re 10% of your total force and you WILL meet the enemy in your relatively tiny map–the only question is if you will have allies when you do so.

    Regarding the people who weren’t helping you when you flag carried: Not that it’s a rare occurrence, sadly, but it’s also possible that this behavior was even more prevalent in Children’s Week because they wanted to see you die so they could take the flag themselves for the achieve.

    All this aside, congratulations on now being matronly! 😉 You can go to battlegrounds smugly wearing the title and watch the non matrons gnash their teeth.

    1. Thank you 🙂 Yes I’m looking forward to doing WSG after Children’s Week now that I know what I’m doing (sort of!). Yes I am taking some sort of strange pride in being matronly 🙂 I think I see it as a sign of maturity or something 🙂

  4. WSG is the first battleground you can queue for so that’s probably why beginners start with it 😉 Congratulations on the Matron title. The School of Hard Knocks requirement is the reason not one of my characters have that title.

  5. You have now done the worst part of What a Long Strange Trip Its Been so congratulations. Some of the achievements are luck based so you might not get them, some are quite tight within the time frame of the holiday, but none of them are more frustrating to get than that one! I think they keep it in there because it single handedly keeps the achievement rare.

    1. Oooh you’ve made me think I could actually get it!! I’ve completed Noblegardener & Children’s week, and one of my other characters has done the Halloween one so with account wide achievements I’ll have that one too! Not many left…. 🙂

  6. Finally got it myself (Hard knocks) so I feel your pain and your joy! After all these years, me a holy priest, finally got a BG where the horde would /walk in and cooperate with the achievement. I really loved whoever was behind those pixels.

    1. Congratulations on getting it too 🙂 Brilliant. And what a lovely Horde player. Next year I’m going to try to be that person for other people trying to get he achievement. Although I’ll probably get yelled at by my own side!!

  7. AAaaaaahhhhh… Now I’m getting flashbacks – I got that achievement back when I was 70 and Karazhan was a challenge 🙂
    For some reason, flag returns are a challenge. That silly flag takes soooo long to appear on my screen – usually it barely comes into focus by the time someone else has already clicked it. I did get lucky, though.
    My wife had the same issue back then. She actually got us both invited into a WSG “premade” (you could do that back then – a full guild group) with one of the then-top-guilds on the server. It was an epic battle, drawn out forever, until she got a flag return in.

    During said battleground event I managed to get the “300,000 damage done to players in a single battleground” achievement. As a prot warrior – we’re not really known for damage-dealing. Yes, it took *that* long 😉

    I’ve never attempted the orphan achievement again on any of my alts. Not even my PvP warlock!

    1. Yes I found that the flag took ages to appear. I’d think it had gone & then when it did appear in my excitement I would totally misclick – several times. It’s a nightmare achievement definitely- but one I feel proud of now. In fact- and I know it sounds a bit ridiculous – it’s made me think that everytime I think something would be too hard to do – non-WoW related stuff included- I now think of that achievement & how I viewed it at the outset & the fact I did get it in the end. It makes me think anything is achievable!! 🙂 Very corny I know 🙂 If this was Glee it would be the moment for a song 🙂

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