Some of you who have stumbled on this site looking for an important and perhaps even thought provoking anti-war tirade are going to be disappointed by the frivolity of this post. Or a little angry. Or maybe so genuinely puzzled and bemused you end up stumbling to the fridge looking for some solace and sanity in a Kit Kat. Unless of course you are my until now undiscovered soul mate who knows exactly what bombing I’m referring to without me having to spell it out because it’s so obvious, because you’ve been there, felt it and endured it. In which case I hope your therapist laughed less than mine when you told him/her about it. I’m referring of course to the bombing of Skettis – that awful daily that I’m currently putting myself through daily (clue is in the name I know) to get a flying jellyfish – or nether ray – whatever the hell they’re called.
What a dreadful dreadful quest. It’s hell. Sheer hell. Shall I list what’s wrong with it? Please can I? The therapist is insisting on charging me double if I continue to waste her time with this crap. Ok…
1. The big birds that attack you just when you’re about to bomb their eggs. I mean how unreasonable is that. I am just trying to destroy their young, their precious next generation, and they have the gall to get all tetchy about it and come swooping down on me, hamstringing me and my mount and making me fall to the ground- dying in the undignified way of one too panicky to click slowfall properly.
2.Trees – there are trees and leaves everywhere. They get in the way and make me feel all smothered and claustrophobic when I fly around. Also they make it more difficult to find those eggs. It’s making me a total supporter of deforestation. You wouldn’t get this hassle if it was a concrete jungle filled with high rise flats with the eggs neatly lined up on top. Blizzard and nature take note – we need more concrete.
3.That annoying guy who daily needs to be released from the prison in one of the trees. He never moves once I release him. He says something like “Let’s get out here” but then stands there, like he’s expecting me to carry him or something. I end up running off a bit and then stopping and looking back at him encouragingly (yes my WoW character has all sorts of facial expressions – hasn’t yours – how odd). Eventually he comes – sauntering along like one not that keen on escaping a prison in which he was kept relatively well fed and watered. Actually now I think about it that’s probably why he ends up back there each day- after we get to the foot of the stairs and he says “Great thanks!” he probably waits until I’m not looking and runs back up to lock himself in. Total time waster.
4. For this daily hell I get the pleasure of seeing my rep bar with the Shatari Skyguard creep up millimetre by millimetre. They are never that impressed with me unless I bring back a load of shadow dust as well- the thought of which makes my hands all itchy.
5. It’s nowhere near Ogrila – the other place I apparently need to go if I am to sufficiently win the Shatari over to my cause -enough anyway for them to be willing to sell me (sell me mind- not give me – they have to like me enough to let me spend my money with them – the world is mad) a nether ray. And they know I’ll do it. Because I’m that desperate to add another mount I’ll never use to my collection. This game is both a dream and nightmare for any “completionists” like me (i.e. neurotic, OCDish and obsessed).
Compare this daily with the lovely Wintersaber one. I get the little cub out each day. He either wants some meat or a toy. Aww bless. I fly a few feet away, one shot a couple of owlkins, yetis, bears or winterfall shamans (who killed me enough times when I was levelling for me to enjoy every single one I bring down) and then turn in the quest. He yawns in a very satisfied manner. I store away yet another whisker and we’re all happy. One day nearer to the mount. It’s clear, definable, enjoyable and most important of all really really EASY!
Yes I want these dailies to be easy. I don’t want to be attacked by birds or blinded by leaves. In fact come on Arrakoa – just lay up all your eggs in a row just outside the camp and let me come along and blast them with arcane barrage. You’ll have less squawking mouths to feed (and bloody hell they grow up aggressive) & I’ll get my flying jellyfish. We’ll all be happy. And throw a bit of concrete down while you’re at it.