Glyphs Galore

Fantastic new announcement today – have you heard? New glyph system for dungeons based on the role you play rather than your class. Completely different from anything we’ve ever seen before.

I’ve read some pre-patch notes on what the Prime glyphs are going to be like. Have a feeling we’re going to be wondering how we ever managed without them.

Tank Prime Glyphs

Glyph of Map Awareness

Fantastic addition. No longer will any tank need to look at the map (the animation just gives you away) or ask sheepishly, “Where to now?” Once you have this glyph you will instinctively know your way around the dungeon even if you’ve never ever been there before. And even if you somehow get it wrong the dungeon will now rearrange itself to fit with your perception. Since you are of course all knowing and all powerful –  always have been but at last the games mechanic has caught up.

Glyph of DPS Putdown

Much needed I think you’ll all agree. No longer will you have to fumble around typing something cutting while trying to hold aggro and save the healer’s life. Just hit the P key and out will come a randomised putdown that is 100% customisable. Some suggested ones are “Stick your totem where the sun don’t shine Shaman boy/girl”, “Does your mother know you’re out” (to any gnome unless you’re a gnome tank yourself- in which case for shame), “Get a room!” (to warlock and pet), and the old classic “FFS L2P” (the more uncalled for the bigger the impact of this one I find).

Glyph of Healer Pet

Turns your healer into the obedient pet they should always have been. No longer will they dawdle behind you looting or insisting on annoying little mana breaks (you can drink on your own time Florence Nightingale). They will follow close to your heels without even the use of a lead (although you will be able to buy a vanity lead and collar if you like the look). There is rumour that the accompanying major glyph to this will ensure the healer only ever heals the tank – after all with dps waiting up to 20 minutes in the queue why waste mana keeping them alive?

DPS Prime Glyphs

Glyph of Pulling Power

Yes we all secretly want it because it proves just how awesome we are. This glyph will allow you to pull off the tank without any effort at all (your sheer presence will prove irresistible to those weak minded mobs), shoot to the top of Recount & announce to the group that you really are the most potent and virile DPSer the World of Warcraft has ever seen.  When in effect though does seem to trigger Tank’s Glyph of DPS Putdown (please see above).

Glyph of Random AoE

It’s fun when all the mobs run towards you isn’t it? You finally get to feel like the life and soul of a party. Well with this glyph you will randomly cast your most powerful AoE and aggro anything in the vicinity. You might want to run to the tank immediately on doing this of course – but he/she won’t mind – after all you’ve been telling them to pull bigger ever since the start of the dungeon so this is just another way of being helpful.

Glyph of Speed

This enables a group buff to allow everyone to run ten times faster than normal. Rooms will pass in a blur and the mechanics of the game will mean that you are killing mobs that are actually five rooms behind you. Final mob fights from each dungeon will actually take place after you’ve left the dungeon and the game and are watching X Factor on the sofa. No need to actually look at the game anymore.

Healer Prime Glyphs

Glyph of Martyrdom

Thank goodness the developers have recognised the need for this. Enables healer character to show a seriously woeful expression on their face and occasionally give out  emotes such as “No one ever thanks the healer”,”You’d all be dead if it wasn’t for me” and “Does anyone ever check if I need a drink?” Can be customisable to have an accompanying despairing shake of fist to sky.

Glyph of Attention

Clever one this. A cosmetic glyph to make it seem as if your mana bar is empty even though actually you are perfectly fine. This can buy you some much needed looting time and a chance to see the tourist attractions (that’s what you became a healer for after all). Can be used with Glyph of Martyrdom (see above) to very powerful effect particularly on the tank who will swear he/she only checked your mana 2 minutes ago and you were fine.

Glyph of Armor Reduction

No healer will ever want to be without this one. If your tank ever dies it immediately changes the appearance of their stats armor so it looks as if he/she was kitted out in greys and greens. It comes with a customisable macro that lets you quickly tell the group to inspect the tank to see why he died. This ensures that no blame will ever again find its way to the healer. However, there is some concern amongst developers that tank morale might drop. Therefore they are looking to balance this with a minor glyph called the Glyph of I like my greys/greens even though I could have sworn I had blues/purples on when I came in (Glyph of Delusion for short).

So that’s it. A sneak preview of the Prime Glyphs for Tanks, DPSs and Healers. I for one can’t wait. Finally dungeons will run like they were meant to!

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16 thoughts on “Glyphs Galore

  1. Aw, I thought for a moment there really was going to be a new glyph system! 🙂 Funny!

    Btw, from something I’ve read in your older posts–maybe you already know this, but casting Hand of Protection on the tank is a bad idea. The tank loses all aggro while he’s got it on him, and the boss runs loose and kills dps and healer.

    Hand of Sacrifice is good though. 🙂

    1. Yes my husband started reading it & said “Is this true?” Lol! Yes I’ve heard I made a major error demanding HoP to be cast on me!! But I still think if I’m just about to die don’t I want to lose aggro for a bit just to give me a chance to rest & recover?? I’ve tried out running the mobs and that doesn’t work. The dps can take a little damage surely?!! 😉

  2. Had to “pay you a visit”… lo and behold: WoW fanatics – I am a recovering gamer myself though I haven’t been playing since around August (this expac was just too boring).
    http://us.battle.net/wow/en/character/malfurion/Deandrae/simple is meh durid though in offspec, was OT in Sine Nomine before leaving.

    I always kept the following on macro: I belong to the Church of Darwin and it is against my religion to save the life of a terminally stupid person – this means you.

    Great site!

  3. Followed the link here from your guest post over at Mana Obscura.

    You know until I made my way through this post I had my serious reading face on. Then the sarcasm hit me. I actually liked the idea of these 😄

    Cool post!

    – Jamin

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