If you love something set it free

Didn’t think I’d be writing a post so soon but had to get this one down while it’s all still fresh. The divorce lawyers prefer it that way. It’s a tale of marital strife and healer and tank  disharmony – basically my usual blog post after I enter a dungeon as a tank with my husband as healer.

Ok the day started well enough. I got up early because my other eye is now bad (don’t get me started on my eyes – apparently stress is making me come out in styes. They alternate eyes so neither feels left out and in the meantime I walk round the place looking as if I’ve come off rather badly in my attempt to be featherweight champion of the year).

Anyway I went on the computer right away (sad sad I know) and did something I’ve been wanting to do since I started writing this blog. I changed my tank’s name (Sparci) to Bravetank. I thought it was time for her to adopt her true title. In my head  I thought it would be like the moment in films when some special title is bestowed on the main protagonist and he/she finally know who they are and their purpose in life. This was my Sparci Clark Kent’s Superman moment. This is her day I thought. How wrong I was. So wrong. The name is cursed.

Once my husband was up, breakfasted and had checked his gold like Scrooge before the three ghosts I did my usual begging act – asking him to heal me. It won’t be Scholomance I promised. Little did I know that by the end of our run my husband would be praising Scholomance to the heavens like some Azerothian tourist guide on commission. Instead we entered Stratholme – the main gate one…the main gates to hell as it turned out.

It started badly. I noticed my husband didn’t have Devotion Aura on and rebuked him like a Sgt Major spotting a new recruit’s poorly shined shoes. But in fairness to me (if this blog at least can’t be fair to me I don’t think there’s much hope) we do have an agreement. I put Ret Aura on and he puts Devotion Aura on. It’s not that hard. Until this moment I haven’t felt the need to write it down or write it on the fridge or anything. But apparently he didn’t remember and then claimed he thought he always did Ret Aura. Even though he hadn’t remembered to put that on either …. I held my tongue (if by that I mean I said various things of a very sarcastic nature) and we began.

We had a mage, hunter and warlock in our group. They seemed friendly enough. But like magnets of the same charge they also seemed strangely repelled by each other. And by us. I’ve never seen anything like it. Basically they just ran in three different directions, all of them different from the one my husband and I were going, all of them wrong. At one point one was running back to the instance entrance in a relay race with its pet.

So as you can imagine the first couple of pulls were rather messy. There were basically four different pulls happening in four different areas. To top it all I immediately got some kind of worm infestation from some contagious ghoul. Now I always know immediately when that happens because I am a good girl and have Decursive. My husband is not so good. He feels himself to be rather above Decursive. “I’ve got worms,” I yelled, causing the neighbours to squirm. “Oh right,” he said in a rather laid back manner for someone I trust with my life. However, he cleared the worms like an efficient vet and we pressed on.

I don’t really know what happened next. One moment I was alive the next I was dead. At this point I think we were only about 3 feet from the main gate. Determined to be cheery I stoically corpse ran and returned, announcing in an upbeat school teacher manner, “Let’s all try again shall we.” I immediately got attacked by something I hadn’t seen coming (don’t forget my stye – I’m effectively doing all this with one eye). And this time we all died. Disaster. “At least we’re having exercise doing our corpse runs,” I said in a now clearly insane cheery manner, already in reality a gibbering wreck. I cast a sneaky glance over my shoulder at my husband to check he’d remembered he was the healer and wasn’t tabbed out checking football scores. He was still in the dungeon having a “mb” as he tersely announced. I refrained from saying anything.

Third time. We got as far as the tobacco guy then the wandering dps pulled mobs from every quarter of Stratholme and we died again. My husband maddeningly then decided to write in Party chat ,”What happened?” OMG I thought. Betrayer. He’s just inviting them to blame the tank. So I immediately (and not in an overreacting way at all despite what he said and how this now seems as I write it down…you had to be there) gave him a verbal reminder of his marriage and WoW vows. The keypoints were as follows: – as my husband I did not expect sarcasm from him in Party chat, that this was the very reason he was my healer, that he was supposed to be defending me no matter what etc. My wedding ring almost came off my finger for dramatic effect but even I sometimes know when to stop (normally 5 mins after it’s too late mind). “I’m just having fun!” he said.   I’m not even typing my response to that. I have vowed to keep all bad language out of this blog. So for revenge I immediately posted in Party chat – “It’s worse because healer is my husband.” Silence, then “Oh have you two had a fight?” said one of the dps. So you can imagine how we must have looked. Totally incompetent and dysfunctional to boot. How two WoW toons can convey blame, frostiness and the total breakdown of trust I don’t know but we managed it. The dps kept quiet- not even they wanted to go there.

I ran round a corner into another load of mobs. By now I was playing rather erratically I have to admit. I looked for the healer. He was being attacked in a completely different part of the dungeon. “Why aren’t you with me?” I asked. “One of the dps…” I didn’t let him finish. “Forget the dps, stay with me,” I ordered like an egotistical tyrant, “I am your priority. And you can sometimes put Hand of Protection on me you know.”

“I don’t have it,” he said. I sighed so loudly in response that people in Australia felt a breeze across their face. “Yes you do,” I replied, “Every paladin has it.” But we couldn’t continue this interesting debate about Paladin skills because by then we were dead – again.

My first dungeon with Sparci playing officially as Bravetank I thought. What a disaster. Hope none of the dps read my blog. I found myself standing once again before the spirit healer. She gave me a rueful look and a little shrug as if to say I used to have a healer husband too- and look what happened to me.

By now we were by the letterbox bit of the dungeon fighting the postmen who care very deeply about the mail. “Pull more,” said one of the dps, and like a fool I did, believing in that moment that I could handle it. “Don’t listen to him,” yelled my husband, panic-stricken, but my headstrong self pressed on. I can’t remember the details of what came next – all I know is every hit I took seemed to totally decimate my health, and there was no sign of any heals. “Sorry,” said my husband when I died again, “I was focused on the mob by accident.” Now I’ve done that myself as a healer. I know it happens. But by now I could barely breathe. We were the laughing stock of the dungeon. It was only the fact the group knew we were married that was keeping everyone in check- no one wanted to be subpoenaed to give evidence in a divorce court.

In we went again. Most of the mobs in  this area had now gone. I had time to view the buildings and wonder about real estate prices. I turned a corner and immediately pulled something else. “I’m not ready,” yelled my husband furiously. “I didn’t pull them on purpose!” I yelled back, already a corpse on the floor. We then had a heated discussion about tanks who run off without checking the healer is with them. Apparently they are the scourge of the earth. Actually when I’m a healer I agree. On this occasion though I found myself rather more sympathetic to such tanks who have healers who repeatedly find themselves stuck behind gates….

And so it went on. My armor by now was totally wrecked. Any finesse, style and assurance from my play had gone. Any hint of civility between me and my husband had long since disappeared. I said somethings about what he could do with his Beacon of Light that was quite frankly offensive.

Finally the last straw. My health disappearing again he said, “I am healing you but it’s not working, why can’t you be healed?”I’ll show him I thought and tried to click Lay on of Hands on myself. It didn’t work for some reason. I kept quiet. And died. Again.

“I can’t do it any more guys,” I said to the dps, “It just isn’t working.” My husband had by now already left the dungeon and was dismantling his mouse to show me a bit of fluff that was apparently the cause of all the problems. I refused to look.

What a disaster. Silence descended on the house. For 10 seconds. Then the recriminations started. Apparently he’d never seen a tank lose health as fast as me. I’ve never seen a healer not use Hand of Protection I responded. Why did I listen to the dps and pull more. I didn’t know I admitted, I’m easily led. Why did he criticise me in Party Chat I asked. It was a joke he insisted. Then the bit I knew was coming. The speech. “I’m never healing for you again. I hate it. It’s not fun. I get nothing out of it. It was embarrassing.” It was like an anti healer affirmation. But then, amazingly for once, I started listening. Properly. He really does dislike it. He hates it. He is only doing it because I beg him and he loves me and he knows I’m scared to tank without him. And you know what … if I’m to be brave, really brave, I need to start doing this on my own. And if I’m to be a wife, a good wife, I need to stop making my husband do something he hates. So he wins. The pocket healer is no more and he is set free. With love. And now my scary journey really begins….

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24 thoughts on “If you love something set it free

    1. Very wise. I don’t know why I seem to like to make my life difficult. I love playing my arcane mage but for some reason I choose to put myself through the torment of tanking & if not tanking then healing!

  1. The Tiz has been me heler since Naxx days, and I ain’t never as comfortables when I done has ta settle fer someone else. But I manages, and you will too. We all has ta be free fer ta find our own fun, even husbands.

  2. Ohh I don’t even know the amount of quabble I’ve had with my better half because we’ve been stupid enough to play together ^^ I remember we both rolled druids once way back and at first I loved it. Here we were, both fooling around with shapeshifts and running dungeons like real pros. Until a gear piece dropped that we both needed, he rolled – and won. Angry face from me, but ok. And then again. And again. And then I was like “don’t feel like sharing a little of that loot, ey? Don’t think I need it because I’m so good?” and eventually I realized I had to stop playing that druid with him… He still has his, it’s his main now actually.

    That doesn’t beat the one time we were doing one of the ICC instances together though. I was tanking, he was dpsing and on one boss he died. He said “hey, don’t face the boss towards me” and I said “hey, I have plenty enough to think about, just move out of the way, it’s not hard” and he said “tanking isn’t difficult” and it all blew up from there. We had a huge argument and at the next trash pack I… let him die. He got aggro and I just “forgot” to taunt back. I was soooo vengefully happy to see him die and he gave me the evilest stare I have ever seen. I might actually have gone too far then ^^

  3. Emboldened by Bravetank, I just rolled a paladin. I haven’t a clue how to paladin. She’s level 7 right now and I’m afraid I’m going to cave at 10 and pick ret but I hope not.

    I so wish my husband would at least try WoW. He could roll a female and dance on the mailboxes, I wouldn’t care. But no, he won’t. I’ll have to work on getting my son-in-law interested again and risk the wrath of my daughter.

    1. I don’t think I’ve ever emboldened anyone! That’s great! You’ll be absolutely fine. Honestly I know it’s a cliche but if I can do it anyone can! Not that I do it well- but that’s not the cliche so I’m ignoring that bit. Yes it is good to have someone doing it with you though. My husband didn’t really like the ending of my post yesterday! He said he was only having a bit of a tantrum in the morning & claims he still wants to come in & heal me sometimes. I think he’s scared I’ll find a good healer & run off with him or something! But I don’t take my tanking that seriously!!

  4. I snorted and giggled all the way through that 🙂
    My husband is actually _terrified_ of healing. The other day I said to him, “I’m in a dungeon, I need the loo, if anyone’s health bar starts to drop, all you need to do is left click on it.”
    I might as well have told him that 500 terrorists were surrounding our house and it was down to him to take them out with a coathanger.
    Good luck with going it alone, but if it results in more fabulous posts like this I shall be well pleased 😀

    1. That’s funny! Healing is very scary though! I always feel quite queasy when I first enter a dungeon as a healer- all those lives in my hands! So I sympathise with your husband & mine! It will be interesting what my first run is like without healer husband. I’m going to try to persuade him to at least come in as dps!

  5. Speaking as a married man and WoW player and endgame paladin tank–tongue lashing your husband because he forgot to put up an aura? After you pleaded with HIM to heal YOU? What a Kate Gosselin moment that must have been.

    1. Quickly looks up Kate Gosselin! Aaahhh. She’s not known in the UK! I replied to you on WoW Insider but only just saw this comment here. I keep forgetting to check the spam folder. Anyway – my post is very lighthearted & making fun of me not my poor husband! It’s supposed to show how much of a nightmare I am to run with because I get so highly strung & nervous. It was meant to be funny that we bickered over an aura and that his “What happened” sparked such debate. He doesn’t take any of the run seriously – he’ll freely admit he just bashes his buttons & hopes I’ll stay alive! (I’m so glad he’s not a surgeon!) He confessed tonight he hasn’t really read the tooltips….!!! Anyway the whole post was meant to be a funny take on dungeon runs/marital debates – because that makes me & my husband laugh. He reads all my posts first & enjoys reading my tales of our adventures (hoping he’s not saving them up as evidence for the divorce lawyer). In any case he is a hero in the previous post (fantastic healing in Scholomance – he made me include a bit about that!) and an absolute saint in A Dungeon Confession (helping me through a very tough time- as he does always!). My own insecurities about- well everything- are pretty well covered in most of my posts and he is the rock through them all. Thank you for reading & sorry my post annoyed you. Honestly it wasn’t meant to be taken too seriously (although from now on I’m putting Dev Aura on myself & will never ask for HoP!)

  6. Hee hee that is too funny and cute. I could not imagine tanking (which I already get the shakes doing on my own) with my husband who is hot headed as it is. First time I got hollered at, would be the first time I yanked my keyboard off the desk and thwacked him on the head.

    It’s a good thing he plays call of duty and I play wow!

    ~Sin @ worldofwardrobes.net

    1. Thank you! Yes it’s funny – I thought going in together would help but I’m so tense all the time! Still scared to do it with anyone else though. It’s nice knowing he’s in there with me – & I always know when he needs a mana break because he tells me in no uncertain terms!!

  7. I’m actually now trying to convince my wife to get back into the game (she played the stereotypical NE hunter till halfway TBC but then quit due to doing studies). Even if it’s with one of those free to play until L20 accounts. I made her the account, made her a pally with a middly chuckle-worthy-but-not-too-funny name and set up all her addons nice and convenient.

    Then I’ll start a holy pally and lock him at L20 and we’ll have grand adventures together in your example.

    That is, if she ever gets started… Time will tell.

    1. Hope she does & you have lots of fun. I do enjoy playing WoW with my husband – despite how tense it can sometimes get! And knowing he’s there definitely makes me braver 🙂

  8. Hi Bravetank,
    This is my first comment on your blog, although I’ve been snooping a little before. this article really made me chuckle, thanks for sharing it. 🙂
    I recently wrote about a similar topic and how me and my partner were a disaster in WoW, mostly because our bartle gamer profiles are simply too opposed. you should take the test sometime together, you might get some answers too, hehe. 😉

    1. Hiya! Thank you so much for reading (snooping even!) & commenting!! Love your blog – particularly Rent-a-troll! Will definitely try the test. Will be very interested in the results. Right now current state of play is that husband wants to continue healing me and all problems are apparently down to the poor quality of his mouse! I’m (reasonably I think!) refusing to do any more until he proves he values my (virtual) life and gets a new mouse!

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