I’ve discovered a new fun activity. Going into Scarlet Monastery Armory (this game works with any instance I suspect) & letting those plucky impetuous headstrong dps (there’s always one, normally three) run forward, attack several random mobs at once, die with their life passing before them- a life that normally involves a great deal of shopping for cloth in the optimistic hope it will give them good armor protection, and then I ask – with a calm assurance (read smugness) that shows itself even in light blue party chat – “Are we all ready?” It never fails to amuse … me. It usually does make them change their behaviour after that. Or call me names. But I feel I have the moral highground so sticks and stones and all that. But what is it with the dps now that I am a tank (and what is it with school kids today- it wasn’t like that in my day)? Why aren’t they like the dps I am when I play? I never pull (unless my spatial awareness suddenly fails me and I accidentally launch myself at a mob like a long lost friend). I let the tank start the fight (I’m normally three rooms back looting anyway – not great when I’m the healer but anyway….). I focus on the tank then focus on their target so we’re all attacking the same thing. Basically if they gave sainthoods for dps I’d be a sure thing. And there really does need to be more warlock saints. They are very underrepresented. I basically try to follow all the rules of every group guide I’ve read. And I know I have lots more to learn. But why are the dps I’m running with so oblivious to all this good practice? And the irony is it’s making me a really bad tank- the sort of tank I despise. So the whole thing isn’t helping my self esteem. I can look at myself in the mirror daily and say the classic tank affirmation “I love myself and my ability to hold aggro” but it only works so many times before the words seem hollow in the face of my erratic rush from mob to mob like some hyperactive child in a race with the dps to get there first. Not good. My healer husband is starting to demand mana breaks like I demand icecream & then I realise I’ve not even looked at his mana bar or checked he is anywhere near me before pulling – something I vowed to never do when we started (in fact he made me sign something – there was also assurance about not pulling any more than four mobs at a time and never saying “Healer FFS!”). So dps bad habits are causing my bad habits and the whole is a vicious circle and I’ve become the problem I want to solve – the monster within has been unleashed- and it all just makes my head hurt.
Other highlights from yesterday’s run- the dps who pulled, then announced she was drunk, then asked the healer to let her die. It was like a scene from Whose Life is it Anyway (I used to love that Richard Dreyfuss film). In the end he did let her die at which she promptly demanded a ress – which isn’t going to help the euthaniasia lobby in their right to die arguments I fear. Anyway he didn’t ress her (an important life lesson from her there) & then we kicked her from the group.
The next group was more straightforward if a little silent (I think I heard a pin from a scarlet lapel drop after one fight). I held aggro, the dps didn’t pull and I honestly felt as if for once all was right in the world. I felt awesome and refused to consider for too long the fact the dungeon is green to me, that I’m way too scared to go into Scarlet Monastery Cathedral (always a total massacre whenever I’ve been in there) and that I won’t even tank if my husband won’t heal me. These are unimportant trifling details. The point is I was in there, leading the group, holding aggro, only getting lost every third turn and only snarling once in rage. Progress is being made after all!