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A Little Sneaky

I’ve just had a sneaky look at WoW Insider. Why is that sneaky? Well it’s because I’m no longer playing WoW. I’m meant to be playing LOTRO. I’ve also been playing a bit of Card Hunter & I’ve been toying with the idea of getting back into The Sims 3. Yes anything but WoW. But where do I find myself. Like a lovelorn dumpee stalking her ex’s house I find myself sneaking quick reads of WoW Insider & feeling all sad and  bereft.

First I thought it was just that the grass is always greener- you love something when you can’t have it – that sort of thing. It’s like when I go on holiday. Up until the time I go away, although I might have had plenty of chance to play WoW, I usually haven’t bothered. Then when I’m on holiday with no opportunity to play I normally decide to listen to The Instance on my iPOD and hey presto – I’m immediately yearning to play it again.  You always want what you can’t have

But it’s more than that. I found myself nostalgic earlier for Booty Bay. Saw a screenshot  on WoW Insider & all of a sudden I was fondly remembering all the times I’ve quested in the area. The memories were so strong it felt like I’d actually been there in person – holidays spent drinking with Baron Reviglaz and Whiskey Slim, scaring Shaky just by walking around in my bikini  (in fact Captain Smotts thought I was one of the sea giants), looking like Club Foot first thing in the morning & getting chased round the docks by old Sea Wolf – ahh fun days.

I really want to log on again & just visit these people (or kill them – either will work). Maybe I need to do Loremaster – something to get me out of the (WoW) house & out into the (WoW) world. Maybe then I can be more brazen about visiting WoW Insider & reading all about the MMO that still seems to be my secret addiction – even when I don’t play it.

 
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Posted by on August 30, 2013 in World of Warcraft

 

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One Two Three

I’ve been sidetracked from LOTRO the last few days playing the Card Hunter beta. Never played a tabletop RPG – have an untouched Pathfinder beginner’s set sitting  on my bookshelf (guilting me with memories of that particular impulse buy from Amazon) nor an online card game, but I heard about the Card Hunter beta and decided to register.

The game is great – lots of fun. For a beginner like me it does a fantastic job of introducing you to the  (virtual) table top RPG  world. The whole thing is designed to look like a tabletop game. The graphics are cute and fun. The tutorial quickly takes you into an actual game & shows you what to do (basically step by step “click here”, “do this” “click that” sort of instructions). Despite the help it still felt a bit overwhelming at times.  My fault though – I click before I think – it’s why they made me hand back the  nuclear reactor keys.  Some of the card descriptions also didn’t make much sense to me at the start (what is this thing called “dodge” … ah yes you can see I’ve never played a warrior well in WoW), but when you start to play & use the cards  you quickly get to grips with it all.

Andy is your guide – he’s the virtual GM taking you through the game. His character adds another dimension to the whole thing   – he makes you feel like you’re actually sitting around a table with friends playing a D&D game (or starring in an episode of Big Bang Theory where they do that – which is my only real D&D reference point). The constant chat about pizza (an in-game currency you can choose to use if you want to) made me hungry though (from now on Dominos will be rubbing their hands with glee every time I log on).

After one or two starter games you find out  you’ve been playing Andy’s brother’s set of characters  & you’re then taken to the character selection screen (the Inn) to start creating your own. I picked a Dwarf Fighter called Swedgin  – he was later joined by an Elf Wizard called Seashell & a Human priest called Terema.  Then I really started to play,

Currently my little team is Level 5 & I’ve played about 8 campaigns. I’ve had a brief foray into Multi Player mode  with an entirely different set of characters (they give you a pre-made set to get started) but I only played  a tutorial session against Andy & I lost – badly – so have gone back to single player campaigns for the moment, licking my dice induced wounds.

It seems I need practice – lots of it. This  game is showing up my limitations on several fronts – not least counting and reading. You know those basic things they teach you in nursery school.  Turns out I’ve been doing them rather badly all these years. I  don’t know how many times I‘ve carefully moved my little wizard to a square 6 feet away from the enemy, perfect for my next spell, only to find out I’ve miscounted and I‘m one square out of range.  How can I not count to six? I mean…really!

And reading- yes – I keep on misreading the cards and misunderstanding their effects. One time I helpfully cast Frenzy on the enemy & another time  – again helpfully for the enemy – a debilitating spell on my fighter  (who was  only 1 health point away from death, so I managed to swiftly finish him off). My poor team – they tremble  in fear every time I select a card. It usually means a painful death for one of them.

But I’m getting there.  Slowly I’m working out how far I should  run/dash/walk (finger on screen, tongue on lip, brow furrowed – one square, two squares, three squares, there, that does it  – yes amazing how it works when I actually think about what I’m doing). I’m also learning how to recognise and use blocked terrain (boy did I celebrate when my elf hid behind a wall …bloody coward though) and how to pull together a deck that makes sense   (in the beginning I was just looking for the highest gear level   – WoW thinking I suppose  – but then the card thing  finally sunk in… ah yes I’m playing a card RPG –  maybe I should actually think about the cards I want to use).

So the beta is great fun and very addictive. I lost a good two hours on it last night & have played a fair bit this evening. I’m learning to think tactically. “It’s like chess!” I shouted to my husband today, as my dwarf warrior got ready to finish off  an enemy troll with a rather vicious chop to the head. Or at least he tried to. Turned out I was one square short. Guess I still need to work on the counting.

 
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Posted by on August 25, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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And Breathe

Well Puw my Panda Discipline Priest just hit 15. Before I could get too nervous I hit the dungeon button & before I knew it I was back in Deadmines healing for the first time in a very long while.

The first thing that hit me was the speed  – the tank was off & running while I was still chatting to the quest givers. But everyone did say hello at least (after I said Hi first of course).

I caught up with the tank & he was still alive – thank goodness. Quickly shielded him & then hit penance for good measure- I don’t even think he needed it since he was probably heirloomed to the hilt (I must be the only person left in game who for some reason still hasn’t got many heirloomed characters).

Didn’t have the nameplates set up as raid frames so that was tricky – I was looking at numbers & could barely see the health bar. But was too nervous to try & change it mid run. So I made the best of things – liberally PowerWord Shielding like an overprotective mother & casting Penance whenever anyone’s numbers so much as hinted they might drop.

And I chased, chased & chased – the tank was single minded in his aim to get to the end of the run in minus ten seconds. I was terrified of losing him so looted nothing & rolled greed on everything because I could not afford even a split second to check out stats.

By the time we got to the ship I was exhausted & my hands were trembling. Ridiculous I told myself- it’s only the Deadmines. And basically shielding was doing all my work for me. But it was my first time as healer in a long time – I’d forgotten how scary it feels to be amongst other people in the game, other potentially highly critical people!

But I survived (and more importantly so did everyone else). And everyone was very nice at the end – they said thanks for the run etc. I sorted out my raid frames & I’m just about to go in again. But this time I’m going to try to remember to breathe.

 
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Posted by on May 24, 2013 in World of Warcraft

 

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Spoiled Forever

You’ll have read in my last post that I was giving Eve another go. That didn’t last long. That game is not for me. I don’t want to fight or mine, so that leaves me with endless missions to earn the money for R&D which I did want to do – and the time that would take is just overwhelming. Plus all the long jumps through space with that music in the background- it was hypnotic yes, but I don’t want to be hypnotised, I want to have fun. So it’s just not for me – I’m not brave enough to try to master the PvP elements, and the PvE is just too slow.

So I tried SimCity. Totally different. Quite enjoyed it but now can’t prise husband off the game. He walks around the house fretting about fires and oil reserves (newsflash- as I type this he tells me his town hall has burned down and he has lost a department- he looks truly traumatized). Over cups of coffee he tells me about his expansion plans for the region. There is a gleam in his eye I find rather disturbing. It’s well & truly his game now –  I have admitted defeat.

Desperately I tried Assassin’s Creed. I’d bought it for husband for Xmas but he hadn’t really got into it. Neither did I. Fight combos that involve more that two buttons are out for me. In real life I frequently forget how to work my thumbs. I did not get far  but enjoyed the opening cut scenes.

Toyed with the idea of Civilisation. I used to love the original Civ. I invented the pyramid did you know. But in the end decided to try Fable III – it was for sale in town. Hmm. Really enjoyed the opening & the dialogue & the general look of the game but once I started fighting I started to dislike it. I found myself just banging X, or sometimes X, forward, release X (the timing of which often failed me) to do some rolling thing that was singularly unimpressive (since  I kept doing it wrong). I was also irritated by the dog barking at me all the time, instructing me to dig like some newly promoted canine foreman (I told him I’d left my spade at home). But what I really disliked the most was the movement and the camera angles.

In Fable III I found myself often facing the wrong way, running towards the camera instead of away from it, and running right through mobs as I hacked & slashed the air. This meant I then had to turn slowly around to get the ones I’d missed (nearly all of them of course) and that meant faffing around with my viewpoint. Oh it was just ridiculously complicated. For me anyway. I found myself yearning for WoW. I really have been spoiled with WoW. The camera is fixed permanently behind my character’s head unless I choose to do something crazy with my left mouse button  (which I never do – unless I’m in a panic or want to see how fetching I look in a new outfit). I go forward with W (yes I’m a keyboard mover   –  don’t knock it – it has built  muscles in my index finger that I never knew I had). When I veer left or right the camera goes with me. When I fight I can stand still unless I choose to move (which I don’t – I’m no jack in the box PvPer – I‘m a frozen in ice mouse clicker). And so today finds me with my WoW account back up & running, on a new server (I’ve made the decision not to try to level on a PvP server anymore –  frozen in ice mouse clickers do not fair well & nobody shows mercy, even when I wave). I have a level 8 (soon to be 9) blood elf rogue. She runs &  the camera follows, she  turns left & right  & the camera still follows. She never runs past me, giving me a sly little wink as she disappears off the  screen. In WoW I even enjoy the fighting (if the mobs helpfully stand in one place anyway).

Or WoW why do I leave you? When will I ever learn? I have to face facts – WoW has ruined me. It’s the only game that fits my particular (low level) skillset. And yes sometimes it gets tedious, sometimes it feels like I’ve done it all before, sometimes I cry when Auntie Bernice hands me the pie for the 999th time. But then I try something else and I remember why I’ve played it for so many years – despite all my shortcomings as a player.  The grass is always greener I know – but not when you have to press three buttons or swivel god knows what just to see it properly. It’s not you Xbox games – it’s me. I’ve given my heart to another & it has spoiled me forever.

 
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Posted by on April 28, 2013 in World of Warcraft

 

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The Feng Shui approach to Totems

Is Totem Feng Shui something we modern Shamans need to be concerned about in World of Warcraft?  Yes say I, your newly appointed Totem Feng Shui expert.

Only a foolhardy group would even consider venturing into the world of MoP dungeons without a Feng Shui aware Shaman in their midst. Without such  a Shaman your group will almost certainly invoke the anger of the Elements – this means a lot of finger pointing and all sorts of tutting. Not nice. But with a Feng Shui aware Shaman you have all the advantages of positive Feng Shui energy in your group, plus a Totem colour scheme to die for.

So it is the duty of all MoP shamans to understand the Feng Shui impact of their Totem layout & optimise their rotation accordingly.

Please note  this isn’t just about what type of Fire or Earth totem you place & when – although that is important too (we need context specific placements  not random clicking of whatever icon looks vaguely totemmy on your action bar because you’re in a bit of a panic & three mobs are hitting you at once … and no I firmly deny  that this was me Sunday afternoon). No – you need to think about where you place your totems. The conscientious  Shaman can be seen practicing morning to night  out in the fields of Westfall – measuring out the space between their Air and Fire totem, using the boars as target practice for the Fire Totem (hear them squeal), & enjoying a celebratory meal (of roasted boar of course) with the suave Earth Elemental (Azeroth’s most eligible bachelor). Any Shaman that does not meticulously practice in this way only deserves one part of the title  shaman –  the SHAME part …wear it well you shirker, wear it well.

At the heart of good Totem placement & the Feng Shui approach is the understanding that opposites are good – indeed opposites are necessary. As with life there is a Yin Yang approach that should be embraced or failure will come a-knockin’ on your door (a 9pm, when you’re in your pyjamas- which is always awkward). Get your Totem mix wrong and you will be laughed out of the raid- this is particularly so if you attempt to drop 4 Fire Totems at once in the mistaken view that “Fire Pretty Fire Good Ug”.  Give up the cave man approach- in any case you look dumpy in a loin cloth cloth. Mix it up baby, mix it up.

You won’t get a more stronger adherent to the Feng Shui approach than Thrall. He  categorically refuses to place a Capacitator Totem anywhere near a Healing Stream Totem  because the energy  “gives him the heebie jeebies” . He  will also never place a Stone Bulwark Totem  near  running water – according to Thrall to do so is to lose all gold from your  pockets & render yourself impotent in the bedroom.

Anyone who has run a dungeon with a non Feng Shui Shaman knows from bitter experience that the energies are so bad your hair will frizz – even the strongest leave-in conditioner will fail to uncrinkle those locks. This is not a risk any WoW player wants to take. A non Feng Shui aware Shaman  will  fling down wild combinations of Totems – usually before a mob is even  pulled. They might even place crazy Earth Totems in the Southern hemisphere of a dungeon (have you heard the like?!). This WILL cause the very elements of the earth to revolt and WILL lead to a wipe – I’m almost 1% sure of it. So if your group wipes and you have a Shaman in your midst then they are  definitely not applying good Feng Shui principles, the  wipe is their fault & they deserve utter contempt (particularly if they are the healer…altogether now HEALER FFS!).

So in conclusion – if you’re in a group with a Shaman you must demand the Feng Shui approach to Totems. And if you meet any resistance then there is of course one place they can shove their Totems – it might not be strictly Feng Shui but it will feel satisfying  nonetheless.

 
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Posted by on December 18, 2012 in World of Warcraft

 

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Azeroth Sonnet No 1

Shall I compare thee to an Azeroth summer’s day?

By which I mean Tanaris not Winterspring, although you can be a bit frosty,

 

Thou art more lovely and more temperate:

(Although the time you ripped out the eyes of that orc did disturb me a tad – he was only level 10 for chrissake.)

 

Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,

And wake the lazy peons from their sleep (although I find a stick does just as well)

 

And summer’s lease hath all too short a date:

But who gives a shit because it means Brewfest is on its way – hoorah for ancient pickled eggs 

 

Sometime too hot the Eye of the Storm shines,

And often is his gold complexion dimmed,

But with a coordinated team who LISTEN GODAMMIT  you will capture the flag  

 

And every fair from fair sometime declines,

By chance, or nature’s changing course untrimmed:

 Yes we all must agree the Darkmoon Fayre is so over – and I hate that tiny stupid monkey pet…I wanted a gorilla

 

But thy eternal summer shall not fade,

 

How could it with a temper like yours? I find it charming honestly…but I never knew anyone’s face could go so red

 

Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st,

Yes you still look good – even in Worgen form. It’s amazing – can I stroke your fur?

 

Nor shall death brag thou wander’st in his shade,

When in eternal lines to time thou grow’st,

Yes grow’st – you shall grow my beloved – middle aged spread happens to us all- particularly  a worgen with an appetite for squirrels like yours

 

So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,

That is anyone who has successfully avoided you in in a temper … godbless stealth 

  So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Yes you are immortalised in the game & now the blog my furry beauty.

 

But who is this mystery Worgen?

 
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Posted by on December 11, 2012 in World of Warcraft

 

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Living life the Sims way

I’ve mentioned before that I’m a bit of a Sims fan – although I’ve not played in ages. Lately I’ve been considering putting it on this computer – although I fear the computer is not quite up to the task of running it (my computer is currently throwing a fit every time I dare consider asking it to do more than one thing at the same time – sort of like my husband). But it got me thinking about the Sims and how it’s actually more than just a great  game. I actually think the Sims could serve as a modern guide to life. In fact I’ll rashly go as far as to say that if we lived our lives the Sims way we wouldn’t  go far wrong.

Ok what do I mean? Well consider the following:–

1. The Sims have three very basic needs-

Eating

Bathing

Sleeping

You neglect any of these in the game at your peril. This is true of life. After all who wants to end up starving to death while at the same time feeling dreadfully exhausted and finding no one will sit next to you on the bus? In the game there are nice green bars to help you monitor your Sim’s needs in this area. Unfortunately we don’t come with these bars. But we do have their equivalent, namely hunger pains, body odors and uncontrollable yawning. Do not ignore these signals.

Let’s look at each in a bit more detail.

(a)Eating -

A Sim will not do much if it has free will & is hungry. In fact it gets rather stubborn. We don’t get to act in the same way in the real world.  I’ve tried stomping my foot, waving angrily overhead and muttering gibberish in work when I’m peckish but they just threaten to dock my wages. But the real lesson is simply not to let the Sims or ourselves get to the point where we are so hungry we cannot think straight.

And it’s not enough just to eat. The Sims teaches us (although in fairness about a million diet & nutrition books tell us the same…but they’re far less fun with no whoohooing) that the quality of the food is important. Eat well & you have to eat less often.  This is where good cooking skills come in. In the Sims this is matter of life and death. Anyone who plays knows that if a Sim cooks without any cooking skills they will have a fire & they will stand in that fire (no GTFO add-on here it seems). But high cooking skills also means better food – the relevance of this to us is obvious. It is false economy to shove crap down your throat (…wipes toast crumbs from lips before  continuing) & if possible we should try to improve our cooking skills & at the very least – if it all goes badly wrong – move out of the way of the flames.

(b)Bathing-

Sims do not like to smell. And other Sims do not like to be around Sims who smell. So you need to ensure they bath/shower regularly. The better the quality shower & bath (i.e. the more expensive) the better the hygiene rating. Indeed generally in the Sims quality items  (which equate to costly items) get the job done better (i.e. quicker). This is good because it means there is more time to spend on doing other things (see Fun below).  Yes this is the Sims equivalent of enjoying the benefits  labour saving devices brought to our ancestors. Now not all of us can afford expensive high powered showers (mine is attached to my taps & for some reason I constantly aim wrong, miss my hair & soak the wall), but you do what you can. And we all feel better after a nice bath or shower (unless you’re me & you have a wall to wipe down). Certainly we all smell better and this makes us better people to be around (none of our colleagues will feel the need to leave a bottle of deodorant on our desks with a “Please use me for the love of God ” accompanying note).

(c)Sleep-

Again Sims will not do much if they are exhausted. They are the wise ones. In real life we all  push ourselves far too hard. So think Sim when you’re next asked to do something and you’re  tired. If thinking Sim isn’t enough act Sim by collapsing in a heap on the floor, snoring gently while a lullaby magically plays overhead. Your boss will get the point (& you might get the boot – but you’ll have caught up on some much needed shut eye).

Ok – so that’s Eating, Bathing & Sleeping. But beyond these basic needs you have others that should also be satisfied. For example:-

(a)Fun

Another green bar for this. For many Sims this is a primal life force in itself. I’ve had Sims refuse to do anything unless their fun bar was completely full. Such self indulgence can leave those of us with a rather Calvinistic work ethic completely astounded but there you go – maybe we could learn a thing or two from these unapologetic self indulgent Sims.

The computer is usually the most efficient way to drive up the fun bar  – in Sims world & in life. A quick injection of a mindless game (*cough* WoW *cough*) & your Sim is usually in happy land (like us all). But creative Sims will get the same fun out of playing music, painting or writing; logical Sims out of playing chess or taunting aliens via the telescope; lazy Sims out of watching TV etc. The lesson  is – pleasure is an individual thing, find your pleasure point and stroke it (oh did I really say that…).

(b)Socialising – again some Sims need this more than others. One of my Sim’s  used to have a breakdown if she didn’t speak to someone at least once a day. This was so the opposite of me I found her impossible to play – I  could not identify with her (whereas my male Sim who got abducted by an alien and then gave birth to twins was virtually living my life).

The computer is again the answer to your prayers here – for the Sim & in real life. You can socialise via Twitter, Facebook & chat, but no one outstays their welcome & you don’t have to provide nibbles. Perfect.

Conclusion

So there you have it – The Sims priorities which, if we prioritised them too, would surely leave us happy, well balanced & fulfilled. I’m certain of it. Sort of.  But there are some aspects of Sim behaviour you would want to avoid. For example do not do the following:-

-Haunt your son – it’s not very nice & could cause his new wife to collapse in terror. This happened to one of my  Sim couples. It placed a strain on the marriage it must be said.

-Fail to clean up after yourself thus causing an infestation of cockroaches which in turn will lead to a life long insect phobia and recurring flashbacks whenever your mood is a little low.  Don’t be that Sim. Wash your dishes.

-Whoohoo with son’s partner (in a hot tub too) – tut tut

-Play poker non-stop for a full 24 hours while all around goes to rack & ruin. The only thing in the defence of the Sims who did this was that the entire family was involved so it was rather bonding.

-Invite the headmaster around but have a breakdown as soon as he enters the house & refuse  to do a thing no matter how hard your lovely player clicks the mouse.

-Leave baby on floor, forget to feed baby, refuse to teach baby (now toddler) how to talk (because your entertainment bar is red & of course you’re well within your rights to neglect your child when that happens), then fail to ensure child does homework & finally fail to get child into good school (by failing to successfully schmooze headmaster as per above).  This all took place in one of my dysfunctional Sim households because I insist on playing at full speed (that’s how I roll baby) and kept losing control (that’s how I fall baby). Poor neglected child. He was the one who then grew up to be traumatised by cockroaches, haunted by dead parents & then in the twilight years of his life whoohooed with son’s partner. Can’t really blame him when you look at the start he had in life.

But  – but – all that said – I still think the Sims offers a good balanced approach to life.

Just remember to avoid cockroaches, day long poker sessions & inappropriate whoohooing in hot tubs.

 
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Posted by on December 4, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Keep Azeroth Tidy

Keep Azeroth Tidy

All my rather tongue-in-cheek writings about the denizens of Azeroth are now available as a Kindle ebook. It includes the news they don’t want you to hear – naturist nightmares in Tanaris, mage wannabe healer brings discrimination case, Deathwing confessions, the plight of Gary the Goretusk, articles, news, revelations and the seasonal & festive Winterveil Christmas Carol!!

(Minor stress:- For some reason the cover image is not showing on Amazon – they say it might take a couple of days. Any advice to stop me obsessively checking every 5 minutes would be gratefully received!)

 
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Posted by on November 25, 2012 in World of Warcraft

 

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Game Over

You have three hundred words to justify the existence of your favorite person, place, or thing. Failure to convince will result in it vanishing without a trace. Go!

This was yesterday’s Word Press daily prompt.  I saw it this morning. I think I’m going to start doing these. They look like fun. But does this pre-amble count towards  my 300 words? Hope not. Ok I’d better start….

I’ve picked WoW as my thing. I have to. Despite  the fact that over the past few months I’ve only been able to play around 2 hours a week  I still really love the game &  miss the fact that I can’t spend more time on it. But me loving something is not enough to justify its  existence  – just as  me hating something doesn’t unjustify its existence (is “unjustify”  a word? – well it is now – as Shakespeare said for over 1700 words which I think is pushing it a bit). Grudgingly even I must admit spiders have a purpose. So what else can I say for WoW?

Ok –  it should exist because it relaxes me. Well that’s a little too subjective (unless Blizzard really did design it just for me- some begging letter from my husband asking them to please for the love of God create a game that will stop my wife’s insane anxiety about god knows what landed on the Blizzard doormat & WoW was the result? If that was the case  you can all thank me later – although I apologise for blood elves.) But aside from the subjectivity of that argument it’s also not actually true – PUGs  have frequently stressed the hell out of me and  I cried once when I got lost in a dungeon. Pathetic? Yes. Relaxed? No.

So ok – what about the fact it’s fun? Well yes sometimes it is – but at other times it’s too  grindy (I am not a dailies person as you know) and very repetitive when you level alts. Indeed the underlying pattern of “do this to earn more that” when stripped right back exposes (to me) a very hollow core. Too often these days I  ask myself why I am  spending so much time getting cartoon characters to do stuff that just earns them more stuff. Moving  pixels around to receive more  pixels differently arranged.

So WoW – it’s infuriating and often not fun. It  has  no consistent end goal (patches & expansions always move it) & so consists of constant striving for something that’s always going to change – that boss today, a different boss tomorrow, that gear today, different  gear tomorrow.  Indeed the only true end would be the end of the game itself – Blizzard calling it quits- game over. And what would happen then? Perhaps we’d find different games to play, or maybe even different hobbies? Perhaps we’d simply watch more TV. Anything  rather than sit alone with our thoughts- because who wants to do that? Therein lies madness. Because I think deep down we all know we’re   really playing a much  bigger game  –    often also infuriating and  lacking in the fun department and often with changeable goals and   yearnings for things we no longer want once we have them. And always with the  uncertainty of when the  plug will be pulled. Game over.

And so finally then there’s the answer- the existence of WoW is justified because it keeps us occupied – not relaxed but occupied. It stops our minds  wandering to places they really don’t want to go, places where thoughts about the purpose of life and the futility of it all lurk and fester. So WoW must exist because it stops our minds getting us into trouble …who can fret about the future when there’s a smiling npc with a golden question mark just above his head? And if he replaces that with an exclamation mark even better – we have a purpose again. The Game Over screen has been delayed once more.

Notes (ooh aren’t I posh having notes?!)

1. Yes  that took over 700 words – but I’ve decided the first 5 paragraphs are all preamble!

2. While I’ve got your attention (any of you who read to the end that is!) please consider visiting here & reading my story Choices- just 55 words- and voting for it if you like it. Writing these things is another way I use to keep my own mind out of those dark depressing corners.

Thank you :)

 
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Posted by on November 6, 2012 in World of Warcraft

 

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Sky Admiral Rogers does Henry V

Once more unto the breach, dear Alliance, once more;

Or close the wall up with our Human dead.

In peace there’s nothing so becomes a Night Elf

As modest stillness and humility (and less nonsense chat about Elune):

But when the blast of war blows in our flappy ears (still talking to the Night Elves here),

Then imitate the action of the Shaman spirit wolves;

Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood (and your expertise and mastery of course)

Disguise fair nature (although us Humans have never really been that fair – we should have paid van Cleef surely?) with hard-favour’d rage (GRRR GRRR);

Then lend the eye a terrible aspect (squint rather nastily)

Now set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide (this also doubles as a very rejuventating yoga move)

Hold hard the breath and bend up every spirit

To his full height (more yoga – Power Yoga this time- not for the faint hearted)

On, on, you noblest Alliance.

And you, good yeoman (the Tillers),

Whose limbs were made in Pandaland, show us here

The mettle of your pasture (it’s rather green with lots of pumpkins and carrots I bet); let us swear

That you are worth your breeding (yes even you Worgen who do it doggy style…); which I doubt not (although look into her eyes once in awhile dear Worgen – just for decency’s sake);

For there is none of you so mean and base,

That hath not noble lustre in your eyes (even while you’re mowing down defenceless Horde swimming for their lives).

I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips,

Straining upon the start. (This is a myth- greyhounds are notoriously the laziest of animals – all greyhound races are actually poodles in greyhound suits – fact)

The game’s afoot:

Follow your spirit, and upon this charge

Cry ‘God for Prince Varian, Stormwind, and the Alliance!

It’s PAYBACK TIME!

 
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Posted by on November 1, 2012 in World of Warcraft

 

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