I’m feeling really guilty about something. I should be spending my time doing the Midsummer festival this week. After all I wrote about it last week – all excited and enthusiastic about defiling bonfires. But ….I hate it. I’m finding it so boring it’s in danger of turning me off WoW for good.
I have tried. Honest I have. I’ve killed Lord Ahune. That was ok. Nothing special but satisfying enough (like every meal I eat on this goddamn low carb diet). I then started doing the torch series. Currently struggling to throw & catch four on the trot so that’s not looking too good. But it’s the bonfires themselves that’s the problem. I’ve honoured & desecrated a few in the Eastern kingdoms but after only 4 or so I’m finding it tedious beyond belief. And when I can’t immediately find one I’m instantly in a rage. It’s really bringing out the worst in me. I mean what a stupid place to put it in Duskwood. And to find out that the Horde one in Swamp of Sorrows is in Bogpaddle not Stonard as I thought. Aaargh. It’s making my stomach all tense! I hate it hate it hate it.
So what should I do then? Just grit my teeth & get on with it? But I can’t!!! (I’m saying this in the whiniest tone imaginable by the way.) Surely gritting my teeth is not what this game is about? Surely that’s not what I pay good money for?
Is it the game or me? Do I lack some fundamental trait that I need to be a good and worthy WoW player? I’m starting to realise that the only thing in WoW I don’t end up seeing as a chore is the one thing that when I first started playing I was eager to be rid of – and that’s levelling itself. I really enjoy levelling more than anything else in the game. And what’s worse- I enjoy levelling in PuGs. God what does that make me? I’m like some sick masochist. Why do I take such pleasure out of what is sometimes so such pain?
I used to think levelling was all about getting to the end goal. With my first character Terema – a Ret Pally- I can remember working so hard to get to 70 (it was BC times). When she got there I took a screenshot and everything (did it wrong so never got to see it but that’s another story of despair). The whole levelling experience always had that end goal in mind – the wonderful finishing line that wasn’t really a finishing line but a doorway into the adult world. But I hit 70 just days before Wrath so I didn’t spend too long in the experience bar free zone before I was off levelling again & the same was pretty much true of 80- I think I stopped playing for awhile, and then it was Cata time so Terema was always on the go.
It is only with Seashell (& now Luxmi & finally Terema- my Trinity of 85s) that I’m starting to spend a significant amount of time in the post levelling zone & I’m just not enjoying it – so I’m playing them less & less. At least with Seashell I was doing LFR and HoT dungeons regularly to get my valor gear but even that feels like torture now so I’m not doing it. And I’ve not done a guild raid since I started training for my rowing marathon- I just can’t guarantee I’ll have the time or the energy so I’m not signing up. But I thought I’d still at least do LFR & the HoT dungeons – but I’m not.
I’m particularly disappointed I’m feeling this way with Seashell as I invested a lot of time getting all her professions up so she could fish and cook herself all the buffs she needed. What was it all for? With Luxmi I’ve not even done that. She’s also not geared enough for LFR and can only do the older Cata heroics. The same is true of Terema. They’ve basically got to 85 and I’ve become bored of them & cast them aside – it’s like some sort of marital 7 year itch & I’m the cad in all this.
So what do I find myself doing instead? Well taking the 7 year itch metaphor further I suppose you could say I’ve cast my eye elsewhere for distraction and excitement (this is reading bad isn’t it?). I’ve basically thrown myself into the immoral debauchery of levelling a ton of alts. I have no shame.
The main focus of my attentions are:-
1. Styleesh – my Discipline Priest. I’ve discovered I love healing as a discipline priest. She’s probably the one I want to play most often now. She’s also levelling inscription which is fun but fruitless – nothing sells on the AH.
2. Seally – my new Night Elf Druid. Currently feral DPS which I’ve never really done- enjoying being a cat but still not that into melee
3. Frip- my Tauren Balance Druid (just got Moonkin form today as it happens – how do you play in that form- it totally blocks everything?) Might end up going Resto since I seem to love healing more than anything.
4. Salno -my Blood Elf Demonology Warlock – currently hellfiring everything in sight and getting reacquainted with her minion after a long time apart.
5. Androse – Blood Elf Holy Pally – just looks so cool as a plate healer – have neglected her for far too long.
The latter three haven’t been played for months & months so I’m giving them a spring clean i.e. clearing out their bags (auctioning what I can & vendoring the rest); checking their professions and dumping what I’m no longer interested in (why did I pick skinning for every bloody character?); going to Icy Veins to find out best spec and rotation and then redoing my talents and tidying up my task bars. Then when I feel all cleaned up & spick and span I’m going in LFD and doing dungeon after dungeon until I go from rested experience to purple. Then I log that character off & log in one of the others and start again
And it’s been great fun. I’ve really enjoyed it – particularly the variation. But what does it say about me? Do I have no staying power? Why can’t I commit to raid gear levelling or the achievement grind at 85? I get bored of it all that’s clear – but should I be pushing past the boredom? But I just can’t. I really don’t want to do that in a game that’s meant to be fun. But does this in turn mean I’m like some weird WoW Peter Pan – an eternal adolescent refusing to grow up and join the big world? Even worse am I like some ghost of WoW – refusing to let go & move on, permanently stuck visiting the old haunts and doing the same thing over & over again?
I hope not. I really do. I’m consoling myself with the thought that it might all mean I am wise beyond belief (say yes say yes) and that I’ve reached some great metaphysical truth – some wonderful enlightenment – that it’s all about the journey itself and not the end goal. That the goal is there to keep us on the road, but it’s the road itself that brings the satisfaction. Say it’s true please…
I seem to love this road that’s for sure. In fact when I see the end in sight I’m now taking sharp detours off it to try a different road. Perhaps these detours mean I’m truly enlightened and my alts are actually a sign I’ve reached nirvana.
Maybe. But it still means I can’t look Seashell in the eye