Arcane Party

WoW has helped me cope with a lot of things in life it has to be said, but in one area it falls short. As a level 85 arcane mage (ilevel 387 – I’m getting  there – I can almost taste level 397…it is salty) I feel I’m due actual powers by now. I mean surely the game should be set up  so that eventually, through some sort of magical whizzy abracadabra timey whimey power transference  you actually become the class you play. Wouldn’t advocate being a rogue though- probably end up in prison, and I’ve heard druids are hard to toilet train, but the rest…well the real world is crying out for some real life WoW class power, and no more so than at family parties.

Some of you will know from my previous post it’s birthday party week for me which means seeing my relatives, a lot of them, for like crazy periods of time (3 hours!!!) at one stretch.  And as last Friday’s party deteriorated (see number  5 below) I found myself escaping into WoW fantasy and imagining what arcane mage rotation, if available in the real world, could help me survive the night.

1. Top priority – Ice Block. Not strictly arcane I know but an important part of my repertoire. It’s a special family that calls for this to be number one in the rotation. It’s usually  my last “oh crap” button in PvE  but in a  party where every compliment is just a softening blow for the deadly follow up stomach punch it’s needed early on. Example, “God you’ve lost so much weight, you looked really dreadful before, we all thought so, you were so puffy we  thought you were the marshmallow man from the end of Ghostbusters etc.” Followed by “You must keep it off, you look great….you’re not  having a dessert are you?” etc.

2.Then…Mirror Image – obvious one really – needed  when  trying to keep  four bizarre conversations going at the same  time. Examples:-

-”Yes relative 1 the waitress does look a bit like that one who did the dirty on Jennifer Aniston and yes I don’t like her either  …sorry waitress I meant Angelina Jolie not you, you seem perfectly fine…please don’t spit in my food”;

-”Yes relative 2  I am still short, no don’t suppose it will change now that I’m forty, yes it’s a shame”;

-”Yes relative 3 the prices are a little steep and yes I’m really sorry you’re missing Corrie”;

-”Yes relative 4   I have got the receipt for the shoes but I actually like them, yes even though they make my toes look like this….”.

Obviously I would also reuse Iceblock whenever it was off cooldown.

3.Then Counterspell- this could  effectively work as a silence when any member of the family starts casting, I mean regurgitating, stories  that you’ve heard so many times you literally start to weep and pull out your hair  when they start. Examples include

-the time my  rabbit died  & I hilariously said, “Oooh he’s all stiff” (I would say the same again years later on my wedding night);

-the time my mother accidentally (she says) killed all my uncles fish…they were found scattered under his bed because she left the lid of the tank open & they leapt out (perhaps the bed  looked more comfy than their tank and they misjudged the distance?) – by the way are you getting the impression animals are not safe with my family – that would be  correct;

-and the time I impressively sent back a dirty jacket potato (we live exciting lives here).

4. Arcane Blast – four stacks – it’s getting serious when I bring this out. I’ve tried protection and deflection but now I have to attack. This is when any one of them starts talking about the fact I look so young because I’ve not had children (they know that’s  not been a choice so why say something so tactless-grrr); they start criticising me for being teetotal  (I am teetotal after coming to the  realisation that alcohol was having a  bad effect on my life- why do my family still hold up the “drinking times” as the highlight of our times together?) and yet another interrogation as to why I’m vegetarian & really why can’t I at least eat some fish and after all  we were made to eat meat because we have pointy teeth and crispy chicken skin is delicious and …arrghh – no more please. Ideally would spam arcane blast until all my mana had gone, evocate, mana gem and spam some more.

5. Invisibility- definitely needed right at the end on Friday when the relatives turned their attention away from me & onto each other. Friday’s high (low) point was the stand up argument between my mother and uncle over the bill. My mother was insisting on paying for everyone & my uncle was proudly refusing and throwing ten pound notes at her. I was sat in the middle  singing happy birthday to myself in my head – no actually just sat there cringing in embarrassment. Invisibility – where were you when I needed you?

So come on – surely I’m due these powers now. I mean – I have another one of these parties coming up. There was one huge highlight Friday night though. My lovely husband had ordered a cake for me and at one stage the lights were dimmed & in it came. And look here it is:-

So while I didn’t have my mage powers that night I at least had a mage!!  Once again husband saves the day Thank you Peter .

Facing Forty

Getting ready for the first of my birthday parties (not spoilt honestly- birthday next week & I have a family that cannot be in the same place at the same time as my wedding once showed –  hence multiple parties). Of course I have Glee on in the background (cheap as I am I’m listening to  previews on ITunes – …I use preview so much now that  I automatically expect  all songs to end abruptly at 1min 12 sec).

This birthday thing is interesting. I’m  40 next Friday. 40!!! My mother keeps saying, “I can’t believe I have a 40 year old daughter” and then telling me how none of her colleagues can believe she’s got a 40 year old daughter either. This simultaneously makes me feel ancient and her feel youthful looking so short straw for me. She’s also been saying it for the past couple of months thereby effectively robbing me of  at least a quarter of my  39th year.  In the interests of fairness though she also says I look in my 20s – but in the interests of even more fairness  she was  fitted for her first pair of glasses last week.

In some ways I feel older than my parents. Or at least my parents as I tend to think about them.  This sounds odd I know. But the thing is my parents had me when my father was 17 and my mother 18. And I was born in the May after they married in the December. Hmmm…. Yet my mother still denies premarital sex ….so I might be a miracle. Who knows.

Anyway a 17 and an 18 year old getting married in a hurry  because of pregnancy (think registry office, frowning relatives and a notable lack of white and you have their wedding photos) – it  will come as no surprise to you that they are no longer married (I refer you to my opening paragraph & the family that cannot be in the same room at the same time). Indeed they had a difficult marriage – alcohol, violence, anger, jealousy – and that was on a good day. In some ways I feel that I parented them – particularly after the divorce were they both separately fell apart. I was 11 at the time. My brother was 7. It was hard.

But it’s those days that stick strongly in my memory. I feel like I never even knew them when they were 40. By then I’d met my husband & left home & was barely speaking to either of them.  Various things had happened & they had hurt  me badly. In particular once  they found new partners I was somewhat demoted – back to being a child who needed sterner parenting and academic goals. It was confusing. In the end I reached breaking point & made a new life for myself with my husband. But things are  better now. I cannot remain estranged from people for long (except anyone who calls me fat….they are dead to me) and today I am friends with both.

I’ve learned to forgive. And perhaps reaching 40 makes it easier. As I say I feel older than them because I’m older now than they were when it all went wrong and they broke my heart. For years I couldn’t properly forgive them for that. But now I  know how uncertain and scared of things I still  feel (you’ve all read my LFR posts). So why should I expect so much more of them when I look back to their 20s and 30s?

They did their best. And they still do their best. And I’m lucky I have two parents who want to celebrate my birthday with me. It’s just that there’s a little 11 year old inside me who wants them to do it at the same time in the same room.

Who’s afraid of the Big Bad Bear

I was really grateful for all the comments from everyone after my last post (& the comments on MMO Melting Pot too – what’s the protocol here- do I also reply there ?). Everyone had great ideas for what I should do now I’m 85 but already sick to death of dailies. The unequivocal consensus was that I should not do so many dailies  & in fact perhaps should drop them  altogether. Many of you suggested things like the Loremaster achievement (including really really reading the quest texts – not just relooking at them when I’m halfway through a quest with nothing happening &  the dawning realisation I’ve missed some crucial bit like needing to use some magic crystal on the mob before I hit them   – normally this realisation coming after I’ve killed 100 for nothing … ). Also suggested were doing older dungeons & raids, and learning  to make money (money that can make my dream of a Traveller’s Tundra Mammoth a reality not a guilty fantasy).

All were great  ideas and have led to me changing my routine.  Dailies-wise I’m now only doing Rokk & Katherine Lee  for the chocolate cake recipe  - unless I really really feel up to Molten Front (I actually want to see how that turns out). Other than that I’m focusing on three things:-

-Loremaster- starting with Twilight Highlands. I am going to do all the quests & explore all the areas and- when I remember (old habits die hard )- really read the quest texts.  Did some of it yesterday & I what I’ve learnt about the Wildhammer clan…well to be honest nothing  much apart from their annoying tendency to lose stuff – gryphons, relatives, themselves, their trousers ….thinking of starting up a Wildhammer Clan Lost & Found business for gold. I’d have that mammoth before the day is out.

-Raiding- I realise now that part of my issue is I’m actually scared to do  proper raids because of how hard it sounds but I want all that cool gear.  What a conundrum. But rather than settle for what I can get from VPs only I need to get a grip and go for it. So when I can I will sign up with my guild for their proper Friday night raid, use Teamspeak and everything (imagine my lilting Welsh voice on the air…a high pitched Anthony Hopkins), and try really hard to perform well at that level.

-PvP. I’ve made myself some vicious stuff  (really vicious – they bite as I sew) & bought a few extra pieces & now sort of have a PvP set.  Yes I’m all grown up. So much so that yesterday I ventured out again to  Tol Barad & also a battleground. It was all very exciting.

Firstly Tol Barad. Previously I’ve always had my heart in my mouth doing the dailies there. I’ve been killed so many times – often by the same people each day (do they  live there?). But I walked out with a bit more confidence yesterday. I had some resilience – physical not emotional  of course. But even better – I’d only been there a few minutes when the universe handed me a gift (even they are fed up of all my deaths – I’m pushing the limits of what resurrection can do). A Worgen Warrior (very tough looking) asked me if I wanted to group so we could do the dailies together.  He said it would be quicker,  but I like to think  he wanted my protection (please let me dream). So I said yes & off we went. And yes  it was quicker & yes I did relax a bit more knowing I had a strong warrior accompanying me (I was Frodo to his Aragorn). It was great. Halfway through the dailies we came across a Hordie bear. I’m sure the bear only  saw me to begin with and thought he’d found easy pickings. But how wrong he was. Sucker! Together me & the warrior  despatched him quick sharpish. I did my usual whoops around the living room (while acting fairly dignified in game…don’t worry …it didn’t last).  I wasn’t so lucky next time. He must have been stalking us and when I  and my protector were separated for just a second  (I was greedily looting I think – still haven’t kicked my Embersilk cloth habit) he lunged at me. I panicked and hit a wild selection of buttons – none of which involved casting one spell but did change my outfits four times- and rather quickly died.  Thankfully by  the time I’d ressed and run back the warrior had killed him. I was very grateful & swore I would not part from the warrior again. So we carried on with the dailies (me sticking to the warrior like a limpet) when again the bloody  bear reappeared (like a Goldilocks nightmare). This time he surprised the warrior & the warrior himself died. I was on my own. I had no choice but to dig deep. I entered a Zen like trance (wax on wax off) &  took a moment to look properly at my task bar & actually hit the right buttons in the right order and …I  KILLED HIM!! I KILLED THE BEAR (I offer no apologies for the caps – I am totally shouting). I was absolutely over the moon. The warrior was pleased for me too- although I think by now he was wondering what sort of lunatic he’d grouped himself with. He said he was also impressed with my DPS – so my neurotic fixation with  recount is paying dividends. So all was good.

Later – still full of PvP euphoria – just before bed (note to self- not the best thing to do if you want to relax of an evening) I went into Warsong Gulch – now with two more pieces of resilience gear and no money. The gate opened &  I remembered what I’d read – that  nothing shows a PvP noob more than running off in a totally different direction from the rest of the group – so I tapped into my inner sheep (baa) and simply followed the crowd over to the Horde base to capture the flag. I got a few hits in on the way & definitely could feel a  taste for blood growing – the lower the health of someone the more single minded I was to bring them down (think Terminator with a staff)-and yet I’m a vegetarian pacifist.  Scary. Obviously I died a few times myself (without any shred of dignity and using words even my tongue was embarrassed to say). On one of my forays I decided to stay with the flag carrier all the way back- seeing myself as some sort of hard core invincible protector. Probably someone with cloth  armor is not ideal for this – but I have resilience..that makes me invincible yes? I was certainly acting like it did. Somehow we made it back but then just stood around on the  upper ledge. I was confused. I thought the flag had to be put somewhere? More DPS appeared. Someone said, “All the dps are here!!!” in a tone that suggested  that was very wrong. I shuffled my feet uncomfortably – not sure what to do. I had thought I was helping. It occurred to me that my place was probably back at the horde side stopping them planting the Alliance flag. Wrong place, wrong time … again. Finally – with nothing else to do  I hurled  myself off the ledge down into the fight below- determined to prove my worth somewhow. I died of course. Quickly. But this time on ressing  I ran back to the Horde side & got in the thick of it there. I felt delight every time I saw a name in red. Something to kill.SomeONE to kill. God I’m so ashamed. It was great. Then it all stopped and – WE’D WON!!!! A zillion honor points came my way. What a buzz.

I went back to Old town & exchanged a number of justice points for even more Honor points like the Honor point junkie I now am – taking me up to something great like 700! I now have two main goals- build up my PvE gear with Valor points & proper raids and build up my PvP gear with Tol Barad, battlegrounds & justice point exchanges.Plus do some Loremaster stuff when I can. And get that bloody chocolate cake recipe. And try & do a few World Tree dailies.

My cup runneth over

The levelling arc

I’m feeling a little all over the place in WoW at the moment. I’m officially at “end game” I think but what does that really mean? You know when X Files used to have monster of the week episodes and then other more absorbing (in my opinion) arc episodes involving Mulder’s sister, black oil and a man smoking some cigarettes. Well that’s what it’s like.  I’m on a constant treadmill of monster of the week  stories but the cohesive absorbing nature of the arc- the levelling arc- has gone now that I’m 85.

I miss the excitement of it all – the goals, the discoveries, the newness. I’m aware I sound like a bored partner at a counselling session but at least I’m not sniping about toilet seat transgressions.  What can I do to get the thrill back? It’s the  7 day itch here – 7 days since hitting 85 (totally not –  much longer- but I’m going with the 7 year itch theme regardless).

Help me. Please. Below is my daily WoW routine. How can I insert some magic into it to stop me waltzing  off and having a thing on the side with the Sims?

1. Log on & drag my sorry ass over to Rokk for my day’s work. Grit my teeth as I make him yet another bowl of spiritual soup  and blindly hit my  keys looking for the “kill Rokk” button I know is hidden there somewhere when he once again fails to give me the chocolate cake recipe.

2. Portal over to Dalaran in the hope that Katherine Lee will give me something instead – certainly something more than bloody spices (Columbus could only dream of having the spices I now have). But no of course not. She never does. Nevertheless I run around Dalaran collecting half full glasses of wine for her without even a minimum wage as consolation. She & Rokk ring each other up & laugh heartily over it all and wonder how long they can keep it up.

3. Hearthstone to Hyjal and fly to Sanctuary of Malorne for my Mark of the World Tree dailies. Start with the Sethia’s Roost bit and hope as usual I can find enough  Behemoths to kill so I don’t have to fight the Pyrelords who always seem harder (annoying bloody Seethers making me have to turn around to kill them). Finally destroy the 6 I  need taking more damage than I would have thought possible at my level with such “able” assistants & go back for my measly marks.

4. Do the other dailies both sides of the portal. Enjoy in a way that will take several sessions with my  therapist to work through the mindless act of kicking tortoises into the water & moan when I’ve got to fly “all that way” to the shrine of Aesinna  to rescue some bears and then remember how much running I had to do before I got my mount at 40 and cluck about how easy the kids have it these days. At Molten Front I heal some victims  while creating lots of my own by killing charred combatants and muse philosophically about how futile it all is while eating a chocolate.

5.Queue for a HC on my own or with guild  - clenching my little hands together to pray that it’s not End Time (I hate that globe thingy at the end because when I’m asked to do it I get really nervous and flustered that I’ll do it at the wrong time). Cheer when I get Well of Eternity which is now my favourite and allows me to claim that Tyrande and Illidan are my BFFs forever.

6. Open my bag and look at the gold I don’t have. Browse the AH to see what certain cloth items are going for. Look at my tailoring recipes to see if I can make anything that will make me a millionaire. Work out that everything costs too much to make  so resignedly  sell off all my Embersilk cloth with a bitterness that only a skilled tailor  who once dreamed of making her fortune with cloth can feel.

7. Think about fishing for a rat in Dalaran. Read up on how to do it, realise it sounds like a rather  long and boring process (plus won’t the rat have drowned?) so decide that there have to be better things to do with my time like…

8. … go and find some critters to love …

9. …and then stop when they start reminding me of the  restraining orders they’ve  issued.

10. And finally end up in Stormwind Old Town haggling with the valor gear seller because I’ve not got enough points to buy anything good and in any case what I really want I can only get with tokens from raids I’m not confident enough to go in and then slumping to the floor as the futility of it all overwhelms me.

This is my life now. And it’s driving me  a little bit more insane each day.  What can I do? I have levelled all my skills except Archaeology & the only thing that can do is fast track me to full blown madness (10 steps for green, 20 steps for yellow, count the steps, gibber gibber, give me my precious sparklies etc. – I’ve seen it in action with my husband). I’ve ventured a little into Tol Barad and quite enjoyed that but not sure my blood pressure can take it (nor the neighbours judging by the way I screamed in joy yesterday when I killed my arch nemesis horde Thom – arch nemesis since Sunday when he killed me several times in Tol Barad and laughed at me a lot).

But there is something out there for me. I feel it. Something elusive I can’t quite put my finger on – something that if I find it will transform it  all for me and give me the  arc that  I and Seashell both need- an arc of meaning. But where can I find it?

Informed debate- the cure to all ills

I feel like I’ve been been buried under a rock over the past couple of weeks. Not wanting to reignite anything  but I totally missed the big Feminism debate that has been going on throughout the blogosphere. It must have been happening when I was too busy crying over my keyboard because of LFR. I’m always out of step with everything – while people are excited about MoP I’m wrestling with Marks of the World Trees, while people are planning new talents I’m still reconsidering my  old ones. You just know that if I was around back in the day when the Wright  brothers invented the first airplane I’d have been in the woods somewhere just discovering fire. Wrong time wrong place – always.

And when I stumbled on the debate it was a throwaway comment that got me all interested. Not to say I haven’t got views on the Feminist debate itself (I have views on everything – but they often change by the minute) –  I’m letting that sleeping dog lie for the moment to grind my own little axe. And this axe is non -Wow related – everyone’s been doing it with Feminism so I’m doing it today with….Religion.

It was a comment in the Feminism debate about religion that got me thinking-  I’m not going to quote it because the comment itself isn’t particularly important – it was just a generic dismissive comment. You hear them all the time – you might say them yourself.  It just made me wonder – as such comments always do – on what it based?

My husband has a very negative attitude to most organised religion (I’m mincing words here – he actually has a negative attitude to Christianity) because of childhood experiences – church services, Sunday school, old women in furry hats, cabbage and swede (after church not during but the association remains), and an uncle that was a devout Christian but rather mean to  the family and caused my husband’s father in particular much heartache. So for my husband there is an hypocrisy at the core of Christianity and in most religions.

But of course this is a view based on his negative experiences. It is not necessarily fair on Christianity and religion in general. But it is true to his experiences.

My experiences were very different. I loved church and Sunday school and all RE lessons even when I became  an agnostic & then an atheist and now (told you I change my mind by the minute) the open minded “I believe in everything – why not?” person I am today. There is something about churches themselves that make me feel comforted and calm (maybe I was a woodworm in a previous life), and I absolutely loved reading religious stories in childhood  (except Lot’s wife looking back and becoming a pillar of salt – that gave me nightmares and a total refusal for months to look out of the car’s rear  window- even when my father needed help parking). This continued throughout my academic studies  (loving reading about religion not refusing to use rear  windows) – I did a Theology degree (studied New Testament Greek & Biblical Hebrew – of absolutely no use to me on any of my foreign holidays since including Greece where I was told that me using New Testament Greek in a bar  was the equivalent of talking in Shakesperean language in an EastEnd pub. Undeterred I still insisted on ordering artos & oinon  (bread and wine). I then went on to do a masters and PhD in 1st century CE church history. While I’m in full disclosure mode I have also  written a book on the subject (my mother is so proud!) that’s  available on Amazon if you’re interested…I do not get any money from the sales…I just got 6 free hardbacks  & 6 free paperbacks when I was first published – all now proudly displayed on my relatives’ bookshelves all over Wales!

My research area was the way in which the  early church was impacted by the decision to take the Christian message  to Gentiles  in Antioch. My argument was that an analysis of certain NT texts (Matthew, Paul’s letter to the Galations & Acts in particular) & the non canonical Didache, reveal just how divided the early  church was on this issue & that a very strong point of contention was the issue of food offered to idols.

Please wake up!  You are drooling on your keyboard. It’s  interesting (my husband still says he will read it one day but right now he’s enjoying Michael Palin too much…). My point is only that I studied the texts from a socio-historical perspective. This was true too of the approach taken to other religions in my  Theology degree – I chose  Buddhism & Judaism. In the latter we spent a great deal of time analysing the different stratas of  the first five books of the Hebrew Bible & theorising about the different communities that produced them & the circumstances in which they were produced.  The overall point was that experiences of all sorts and from  different times generated this literature. The literature is often internally contradictory (two different creation stories for a start, a multitude of different names for the God of Israel suggesting originally these were all different tribal gods in a polytheistic culture, and very different in outlook from much of the New Testament) because it was  written by different communities at different times for different reasons. But that doesn’t make it any less valuable, fascinating or engrossing. The insight it  gives to these communities from so long ago is an important part of  humanity’s history.

Some would say this is very reductionist though & does not take seriously biblical inspiration. To a certain extent I’d agree. It is just an historical analysis – that was my approach. I went no further. But I totally respect that for many that is just the starting point. The academic approach says nothing (and should say nothing) about whether an ultimate cause/source itself lies behind all of these different  experiences – it should not say if there was actually a revelation of one God, of many gods, of no gods. Do we see religious experience or a desperate human search for comfort in a hostile world, burning bushes or psychological trauma? That for me is all a matter of faith or not-  I was studying the output and expression of faith and how socio-historical circumstances play a part in its  expression and form, but I was saying nothing about whether that faith itself was true or not.

And yet it seems too many  modern day  new atheists  do just that – I’m looking at you Dawkins in particular but only because you annoy me the most. They pick these religious texts apart (so easy to do without an understanding of how they were formed), point out all the contradictions (there are so many it’s like shooting fish in a barrel – having said that don’t really understand that as a metaphor for effortless action – sounds hard). And they use this  as an argument against the religion itself. And that’s if  they can even be bothered to do that. Or they (Ricky Gervais is a prime example…although for the record I love his podcasts & cried this week in Derek) simply say God can’t be proved,  therefore people who believe in God are idiots. Case over.

I wish I could be so certain of things in life. I wake up full of questions and go to sleep with even more. How can you be so certain that everything that is true has already been proved and that everything that is true is provable?

In my opinion to truly “take on” Christianity or Judiaism (or any religion) at least do it the honour of understanding the way its texts were formed. Read up on Q, M and L for eg,  understand different academic debates on Gnosticism and Johannine theology,  the  division between the early Jerusalem church leaders & Paul. In fact do more than this- read the texts that didn’t make it into the canon (history is written by the winners- you  need to go beyond them to understand more) & see the different philosophies/ideas that existed in the early years. Then have the debate. I wouldn’t dream of having a quantum physics debate without doing a lot more reading on the subject  (I can’t even explain Schrodinger’s cat properly except I’m optimistic it’s alive when I open the box)- I wouldn’t have the arrogance. Why is religion treated differently?

Part of the reason I think is the attitude of fundamentalist believers who themselves know  little about the history and composition of the very  texts they hold so dear – and that can be dangerous. Arguably many of these people have used texts they don’t understand in an outstandingly arrogant fashion  - causing far more pain and heartache than anything the new atheists have done.

And where are the religious leaders in this? I used to teach  New Testament Studies – people training to be in the  ministry were in my class (being naughty at the back). I know for a fact they learnt all about redaction history, historical criticism, Feminist theology  etc. because I taught it.  Yet where does this knowledge then go? It certainly wasn’t  part of my husband’s experience in church – otherwise perhaps he’d have left with rather a more open mind. It seems to disappear once the ministers graduate (at least to my knowledge – I would be very  happy to hear differently – if any Wow fanatic minister is reading please let me know – we may have a lot in common). The focus I think  is on helping people experience God in the here and now.  But  personally I think this  creates a religion that can be very unaware of its own history and how its own texts were formed,  which  can make it  ill-equipped  for debate, easy to take potshots at and occasionally dangerous and intolerant.

I’ve often thought of starting my own local evening classes just to talk about things like the history of the early church, the different perspectives of each of the gospels, the  church’s Jewish origins and the Gentile influence, the canonical & non canonical texts etc to anyone interested (got to be some people surely & might drive up the number of reviews of my book on Amazon – just one  on Amazon.com – thank you my one reader!). But what I really want more than anything is to see that people who are dismissive of religion are clear about what type/expression of it  they are dismissing. Comments  such as “I dislike religion” are to me like saying “I dislike love” or “I dislike  grammar” –  they are so broad they are meaningless. But the impact of such broad statements can be destructive – something this world does not need. So I suppose I’m calling out for more informed debate, educated discussion and genuine open minds on  all topics including religion – that can’t be the wrong way forward can it?

The Kindness of Strangers

This is a  much happier post you’ll be pleased to know (unless you come here to have your nihilistic worldview reinforced…in which case I’ll caveat everything with a “But what’s it all about really …it’s all a pile of crap isn’t it?”‘ so you’ll still feel at home). But I can’t deny I actually have a positive  WoW experience to talk about!  And no I’ve not been visited by the three ghosts (although if I had they’d have been the Ghost of Vanilla WoW, Ghost of Cataclysm & Ghost of MoP). And no nothing dramatic on the road to Damascus (or the road up the Spar in my case). Rather I’ve just had a really nice couple of days in game because of the new guild I’m in

Yes – new guild!! Yes this means Seashell has defected from  her own Raggy Dolls guild …and don’t I have  sleepless nights about that  (although Bravetank is still there holding the fort with her one dungeon every two months). But I wanted to join an active guild to experience heroics and raids in. I can’t help it …I have needs. It would have been lovely if that could have been the Raggy Dolls but it would have needed more experience, knowledge and time from  me to be that type of guild. So instead I’ve joined ….duh duh duh….. Death Dealers of War!!!!!!!! (exclamation marks my own.)

The name is fearsome and scary so obviously I was concerned I wouldn’t fit in. What they asked for in the guild intro were people  prepared to talk and contribute and not just join for the perks (I read this as I was obsessively scrolling through the list looking for a level 25 guild just so I could have mass resurrection….!). But that’s a fair enough request I thought and I have been known to talk (just not while fighting – please don’t expect me to type in a dungeon – it will mean instant wipes for not just that dungeon but all others running at the same time the world over – it’s to do with something at the quantum level). I also worried  that when I did talk my contribution wouldn’t be good enough -that under pressure to say something in guild chat I’d ramble about  crazy things like cabbage patch doll funerals and road kill for vegetarians (yes honestly these topics were part of a recent conversational gambit of mine in work to impress  someone ……..!!). But I plucked up the courage anyway (mass resurrection!!), asked to join & was accepted.

And it’s the best thing ever. I am so glad I joined. Since being in the guild the following has happened:-

1. I have run a few HCs and one LFR raid with my guildees (as I  call them…in my head) – the latter after the events documented in my last post. They somehow convinced me to give it a go again (pretty purples)  and it was  100 times better.

2. They have given  me (so generously) enchants, Kavan’s Forsaken Treads (I was astounded- felt too guilty to put them on for ages …now I strut everywhere of course), various gems & helped me create a macro that has made my DPS quite simply awesome. Now please don’t think I only like people if they show me things or give me stuff – although that said  if you want to send me stuff don’t let me stop you…I like dark chocolate and Decleor and live at Bravetank Mansions, Scaredy Cat Lane I didn’t ask for anything – I never would. They just gave it voluntarily, freely,  kindly. I felt embarrassed, overwhelmed, grateful – you name it.

3. They have also reassured me about my performance (as a woman I don’t often get to hear the, “Don’t worry it happens to everyone” line)  & advised me.

4. They have also celebrated my triumphs with me – for example, guess who made it back into End Time dungeon yesterday on her own….and without crying!!  Yes …I’m totally uber.

In short it’s all been lovely. Whereas my last post despaired about the people we meet online I really wanted to write this one to say that that is only part of the picture and maybe I was wrong to focus so much on it (although it can be therapeutic  to vent). There are some absolutely lovely people online  too who laugh when things go wrong (I was amazed in the beginning that in their HCs  nobody yells at anyone for dying, instead there is  humour …smiley faces and everything). These people  are to all intents and purposes  strangers to me yet have shown immense kindness and generosity and have conveyed in their virtual actions the real people they are behind the screens … and lovely people they are too. It’s been nice

The LFR enigma

I did my first LFR today after finally getting my armor up to the required level. I’ve been struggling for ages to find a good trinket. Apart from Anhuur’s Hymnal nothing has dropped for me in the Cataclysm heroics. I refuse to pay gold (that I haven’t got anyway) on the Darkmoon Volcano Card (even though I know the minute I get over 6K I will!) And I was beat up too many times in Tol Barad yesterday to even entertain the notion of  getting Mirror of Broken Images. So up until today I was still using (don’t laugh) Maghia’s Misguided Quill! It was totally bringing my level average down (you’re bringing me down maaaaan) and I thought I was doomed to be at level 368 for ever. But today came salvation! I came across Soul Casket on a website & found out that the guy who stands in front of Magatha actually sells it (for some reason I’d not  looked at what he was selling   – yes I’m an idiot). So I replaced my quill with a casket (ahhh the fate of all writers), rose  above 372 & finally finally got to queue in LFR.

I wish I hadn’t bothered. In fact I wish I’d not bothered getting to 85 to try this stuff out. I  wish I was still an innocent Level 1 in Northshire Abbey having fun killing kobolds. But even that had it’s moments (I’m still terrified of anyone from the Defias school of thought). Perhaps what I really wish is that I never actually started playing this game – because at least then I’d still have my  belief that most people (mass murderers aside – and they always skew the averages) are inherently good, kind and helpful, as opposed to my now  certain knowledge  that too many people are arrogant, egotistical & intolerant – and often very delusional about their own abilities.

The LFR group  I chose was Fall of Deathwing. Before going in I read some very brief strats on WoW Insider & it seemed ok.  I ended up joining  just before Warmaster Blackhorn. That fight was pretty straightforward. Crucially there was no abuse, no deaths and I was middlish with my dps – all seemed well.

The next bit was Spine of Deathwing. Here is where it started to go wrong. At one point during the fight someone yelled STOP DPS. I immediately stopped casting and waited to hear what to do next. Nothing. Then another STOP DPS FOR GOD’S SAKE. Ok I wasn’t casting but clearly others were still attacking, but in any case just yelling “Stop”  without saying anything else is not particularly helpful. YOU NOOBS was next (obviously – what else?). Then ” WHEN I HAD TO WAIT 15 MINS FOR A BUFF I KNEW THIS WOULD BE BAD” from some other poor hard-done  by soul (15 mins for a buff- bless- what is the world coming too?).

This all annoyed me. Firstly yes buffing is an obvious thing to do & we should all do it (I do it compulsively – even casting focus magic on an enhancement shaman once) but try not to read too much into a missing buff. Moreover, you’re in LFR! People going in LFR are usually – I think – people who aren’t part of a raiding guild, are  trying to gear up,  are often going in a raid for the first time etc. If you’re expecting perfect knowledge of all the  strategies you’re in the wrong place. Also if you’re going to tell people what to do then tell them properly not just half formed  statements. It is not helpful. I read  on WoW Insider that basically what the person meant to say was, “You must kill 9 corrupted bloods near an amalgamation to cause him to explode (don’t kill the big add before he transforms), loosening the plate.”

Why couldn’t someone have said something like that – in shorthand obviously!? Actually the time they took to type the criticism  could have been better spent doing that (actually I’d rather they’d have just logged off and gone  in the corner to reflect on what  an  obnoxious person they’d become – preferably with a bit of face punching- but you can’t have everything ).

Anyway we got through that bit finally. The next part was horrendous. We wiped twice at the very end. As far as I can see people were dpsing the tentacle and  turning to the adds when they came in, then turning back etc, and doing the same pattern on each of the platforms.  The only thing no one did was attack the bolt before it exploded but that useful instruction was not in the strategy I read & no one thought to mention it in the raid until after the 2nd wipe. In the end I and several other dps were booted for being at the low end of the dps table. Only the 2nd time in my WoW history I’ve ever been booted

I just don’t know what people expect from LFR. I know it’s annoying when people don’t listen – but say something it’s worth listening to then.  Telling people to “Sell the game” is uncalled for. In an LFR group everyone is  85 and has an ilevel over 372. They may not be brilliant or expert but they have clearly devoted a not inconsiderable amount of time to the game. They  can  play- if not they’d still be running around in circles in Teldrassil wondering why they’ve not levelled after killing 1000 blades of grass or something. But they might not know how to play in a raid. That is the  part of the game they are now learning. It’s all part of the learning curve. So rather than abusing why not try helping?

And who are these pros in LFR anyway? Why are they in LFR? They’re like an older teenager kept back in junior school for failing exams and then delusionally throwing their weight around the smaller pupils and claiming intellectual superiority because they know their Two times table. If they were any good wouldn’t they be doing a normal or heroic raid? Are they only in LFR because they like to be the big fish in a small pond because that’s easier and because they can’t actually hack it when it gets too tough?

Yes dreadful generalisations I know but I’m annoyed and when I’m annoyed I’m mean spirited. I’m sure people are in LFR for all sorts of reasons – but what I saw today indicates that  being kind to others, supporting newcomers to the world of raiding, is rarely one of them. For many  they just want another opportunity to deride, ridicule and criticise, and to confirm to themselves that all people – apart from themselves of course – are basically crap and don’t deserve to breathe the same (virtual) air as they do.

LFR then is the place the  arrogant come to bolster further their delusional self esteem. If only it was the place people came to help and support. As in the real world people find it easier to adopt a world weary cynicism than to actually be a force for good in the world – and the world (both real & Azeroth) is much the poorer for it.

Bravetank’s Guide to…the Church of the Holy Light

It seems appropriate that during what is a religious holiday for some (for others a chance to eat so many eggs that physically  they  start to resemble one) to write about one of the religions in WoW. Some of you will have read my early scholarly post on the Cult of the Forgotten shadow – which can be found here if you missed it & think you might have joined the cult by mistake (hint: if you’re murdering people daily and cackling in your sleep there’s a good chance you have).  Today I want to write about the Church of the Holy Light. I think it’s very important for us visitors to  the world of Azeroth to understand the history, beliefs and practices of the religions we encounter – it is the only way to achieve the same true  tolerance and understanding we see around us in the real world.

The first thing to note is that the word Holy was a late addition to the Church’s identity. It was initially called the Church of the Light and this was because of its very strict weight restrictions. Basically you had to be able to play a tune (a hymn preferably although some light rock and roll was allowed) on your ribs before you could join.  However, as cooking skills improved and food became more plentiful so the light adherents became  -well -less light. Happily one day one of the bishops had a vision (while eating some chicken skin as it happens) which told him  they had been taking the word light too literally, that it was meant to mean a Holy (i.e. very special and sparkly) light and that meant it was ok to eat chocolate six times a day and finish off that chicken skin. There was much rejoicing.

The Church became known not just for its message of the  light  - the holy light I mean (go on- have a cake) but also hope. Members of the Church would frequently stand in village squares shouting things like,  ”Cheer up,  might be sunny tomorrow” (bizarrely preached most often in Stranglethorn Vale during the drought that killed thousands), or to individuals passing by, “Look on the bright side, your wife’s so pig ugly at least you ‘ll never have to worry about her having an affair.” Their words brought comfort to millions.

In essence the  philosophy of the Holy Light boils down to the  Three Virtues  — respect, tenacity and compassion.

Respect quite simply involves saluting anyone with an ilevel over 379. They are awesome, you are crap, so salute.

Tenacity can be shown by grinding rep with insignificant factions with annoying daily quests. This is why Seashell- still bombing eggs- is almost at sainthood level in regards to her tenacity (although this is undermined by the murderous rage she now feels every time she sees someone from the Shatari Skyguard).

Compassion involves undercutting others on the auction house to enable new players to buy stuff cheaply and to annoy the sellers who price too high (I mean teach them an important lesson about greed). It also helps shift large amounts of crap quickly which is no bad thing.

One of the earliest leaders of the church was  Archbishop Alonsus Faol. It is important to know however that  his last name was not actually Faol but  Fool-  Alonsus the Fool. This was because he could not work out how to play Tic Tac Toe and was continually beaten  by his apprentice Uther. Eventually even Uther tired of trying to teach him how to draw a cross (he insisted on drawing spirals instead and calling them Mother) and instead formed a new order, the Knights of the Silver Hand (originally Silver and Gold – they were going to sell jewellery as a sideline ).

It was these Knights that led to success in the Third War. In fact the Third War was a good war for the Church (as opposed to the Second which was a tad boring  and the First which was a frightful nuisance). But after the war division hit the church – there were those who thought it was time for a total revamp (curtains, carpets & an accent wall was suggested) & others who felt that there was wisdom to be found in the words of squirrels.

Guidance was looked for in the texts but most of these were lost or too ridiculous for words (they suggested things like morality and  good behaviour – the knights used to read them out in funny voices to each other to make each other laugh). Eventually each group decided to write their own. They  used these texts as a way to  dismiss the beliefs of the others. We see this  in several harsh statements that are found in these texts such as, “Red curtains hide a jealous  mind and probably an unwashed floor if I’m not mistaken” and “If a squirrel shows you his nuts do not /love him as this sends him entirely the wrong message.” Of course Azerothians today take these verses literally with many spitting on houses with so much as a hint of pink in the curtain (god help those whose colours run in the wash) and others ostracised if seen out drinking with a squirrel (as so many are wont to do).

The one thing that united – and still unites – the Church however were two key beliefs – that the Scourge are  evil and that certain stains can  only be removed with a scouring cloth. Because of this it is  customary on one day of the year for different factions of the Church to greet each other by doing a robust scouring action in the air (try it- good for the shoulder as well as the spirit) to indicate that beyond the divisions they are all still fighting the same thing- grease, grime and the undead (and if they can kill a greasy, grimy undead at the same time they earn maximum holy kudos points)

So that’s it – a brief guide to the Church of the Holy Light. They’re always looking for newcomers of course. If you’re interested pop along to your local store, buy a scouring pad  and a “I hate the Scourge” t-shirt and you’re away to go. You’ll need to choose between soft furnishings and squirrels of course – but to me there’s no choice – there’s not much about the world a squirrel doesn’t know and don’t let the racoons tell you any different.

It’s Getting Worse: A Tale of Two Dungeons Part 2

I wanted so much to be coming on here today to write about how things had improved for me in heroics (or HCs as I now professionally  call them). And I have had some small successes, i.e. did 6/7 of my VP runs this week, avoided pistol barrage by hiding at the top of the stairs, finally sussed out the ropes at the end of Deadmines etc. But all that is pretty irrelevant because I have a more fundamental problem – I still cannot  find my way back into dungeons after I’ve died. What was previously a slightly funny and occasional mishap is fast becoming a recurring nightmare. I get lost so easily.

It’s always been a bit of a joke between me and my husband about how bad my geography and spatial awareness is. I’ve asked him some odd geography questions in the past – a classic which he will never let me forget is, “How far away from Holland are the Netherlands?” And he loves to play the “If you were driving to town from here which way would you go?” game with me because he knows I would go via some ridiculous convoluted route (Scotland or Iceland or something).

And my  spatial awareness …well … it leaves a lot to be desired. In my head for e.g.  north is whichever direction I’m facing. This made for fun times when husband & I were  out geocaching (on a positive note it allowed us to discover some lovely rural communities of the sort made famous in Texas Chainsaw Massacre - Hollywood on our doorstep). I was lying in bed the other night half asleep when I realised I was visualising our bathroom  in the wrong place (why I was visualising any bathroom is a question for another day). I  think in my head I forgot which house I lived in and started thinking about the layout of my old house. It all could have had most unfortunate consequences had I needed to get  out of bed and  go to the toilet.

What’s the reason for all this? Well my theory is that it’s because I’m a “head” person (my husband suggests I substitute mental case here for head person).  Outside of work I am always thinking of the past or future, but never really the present. And I’m always somewhere  else – never really “in” my practical physical surroundings. My mind is always off on some tangent –   is the universe just a projection of my mind & in which case why have I projected George Osborne,  what did happen to my dog Blackie & why won’t my parents tell me, did I really once ride a camel or was that a dream (still no idea on that –  I remember a hump but that might have been the old lady with the poor posture who lived up the road- in which case it was mean of me to climb on her back), what are the chances of an “immortality and constant youthfulness pill” by the time I’m 60,  will the “future me” do wonderful world-changing things or will I be old, childless and regretful. It’s a constant swirl of stuff. It goes on in my dreams – every night I enter a rather skewed version of this current world with characters, narrative and even plot twists. And all this makes me less connected to  stuff around me than I should be. And because I’m not as mindful as I should be I think I’m a bit of a floater in dungeons too. If everyone is around me I just go in their direction, trusting they are right. But once I’ve lost everyone it’s game over- I’m left alone somewhere wondering how I got there and not sure what to do next.

I get help in game with my  situation awareness with the GTFO add on – I hear noise and I move. It’s Pavlovian training at its best. But as you know from some of the Bravetank posts finding my way as a tank around dungeons was a constant source of stress to me. That’s why I was so over the moon when I discovered Maps for Tanks. But I now know we  need another type of Maps website - a Maps for Returning to Instances when you are Dead – subtitled  Keep Calm and Look for a Swirly Thing.

It’s awful. I am constantly lost trying to find my way back in. Today I had to leave a HC  because of trying four times to find the entrance to End Time in Caverns of Time. It was totally mortifying.  I found several other entrances to other instances (wonderful), but not the one I was dead in. The game bluntly told me “Your corpse is not in that instance” but did not offer me so much as a hint as to where it was. The map was no use. It made me run into a tree. And all the while the group was waiting for me. Tick tock. They were lovely but I was so embarrassed I had to leave.

Afterwards I went out into the garden to find husband and tell him. I was really upset. My husband thought something had happened to a member of the family. “No,” I told him, “I couldn’t find my way back into the dungeon.” He laughed and said “It’s only a game.”

Well yes it is and it isn’t. I hate sticking out so much as the incompetent one. I like to think I’m competent in my job. I try hard to be good at what I do. But I’m not good in these dungeons – in fact I’m nowhere in the vicinity of good – I can’t even find my way into these dungeons. I’m like the charity case brought along for the ride. And each time it happens my self esteem plummets just that bit more.

I read all your comments of course and they’re all so reassuring  but when I’m in the dungeon it only ever seems to be me that’s lost, me that they’re all waiting for, me that doesn’t know the tactics. And it’s not fun then. I love the game but sometimes I suspect it is a masochistic type of love – because actually playing it is so stressful.

So what should I do? Everytime I log on I think I will just get on with things like my dailies, farming rep, doing all the Cooking Achievements etc. (but aaargh chocolate cake recipe- still not dropped), or just quietly making embersilk bags to sell on the AH. But once I’m on I find myself hitting that bloody dungeon button after about 5 secs  - always hoping it will be ok. And sometimes it is. But not when I die and there’s no res incoming – that’s when it all turns bleak. Again a bit like life I guess

A Tale of Two Dungeons: Part 1

As you know I’m a super cool and rock hard level 85 now and doing Heroics (struts stuff around keyboard).

Ok …that was totally for show – I might be doing them but as you’d expect I’m working myself up into a nervous frenzy before, throughout and after. I thought as range DPS I could just stand at the back and basically hit whatever the tank was hitting. It’s certainly what I’ve been doing up until now (although occasionally saving groups from wipes by some pretty dexterous blinking). However, Cataclysm heroics are a whole different ballgame.

It started with an embarrassing fail in Grim Batol heroic. I started halfway through just before the second boss which I somehow managed to survive  but then we faced Drahga and it all went wrong. I remembered from the ordinary version you had to kill the fire elemental thingies  but what I’d not realised was that there was this almighty flame breath thing from the dragon that try as I might I seemed to run into  (I was almost bathing myself in the stuff). And I have the Deadly Boss Mod so there really is no excuse. So I died.  Everyone must have (it’s a blur now)  because I had  to run back in. But I  got totally lost on my way back and nearly ran into a pack of mobs. Oh dear I thought. I need to go another way. I considered for half a second and then spied what looked like a molten lava river below the bridge. I flicked the map open and assessed the situation and then did the only sensible thing you can do in these circumstances. I hurled myself off the bridge into the  molten lava. Do not ask me why. I had a vague thought I could take a short cut through the lava….. Yes this is why husband and I no longer go on  walks together.

As you’d expect I died again. So I then did what all dignified people do at this point- I left group without saying a word. I was totally embarrassed. I sat in the corner licking my wounds for a bit until husband told me to stop as it was putting him off his tea.

“I’m going to read all the strats online & not go in again until I absolutely know what I need to do in every single Cataclysm heroic,” I announced. Those of you who have been reading this blog for awhile will recognise these as classic Bravetank words – said after every failed embarrassing dungeon run. But I indeed started reading up on  Grim Batol. But all the reading did was make me more scared at how complicated it was. Groups will wipe if they don’t do blah blah. Remember to do blah blah. Ignore blah blah at your peril.  Oh my  goodness – instance strats are totally boring and complicated to read.

Ok another approach is needed I told myself. You will learn this by going in again and again, learning through your mistakes. Getting better by doing. It was a bit like Robert the Bruce and the spider – although to be honest if I had been in  Robert’s position and in a dark and dingy cave and  suddenly spotted a spider anywhere near me the English would have heard my screams from miles off and promptly come and killed me. So lucky for Scotland I wasn’t there then (thank me later Scotland – a free holiday in Edinburgh will do).

But of course in real life trying and failing and then trying again and succeeding is great.  Doing this in a dungeon is another thing. I mean you try and fail in real life and what happens … Well ok as a surgeon pretty bad stuff I expect. Ok what about a  hairdresser? Well yes that could get nasty too I bet. Ok as a teacher- well it’s only the entire next generation in your hands….

Ok I admit trying and failing in real life is pretty serious too. But in  Heroics it’s worse- I mean they call you noob and stuff.

But even as I ruminated on the issue I knew it was the only way – I had to get in there. Plus my  addiction to valor points needed feeding.  Since I’ve been able to shop at JP and VP quartermasters I have been unstoppable. Even though my JP firehawk set is annoying because I now have a renegade mirror image who appears when I don’t want her to appear and pulls stuff I’m scared of  I do love the gear. So I have to run Heroic  dungeons & I have to run randoms.

So with this in  mind I queued up again yesterday and to my “joy” (i.e. total dismay) I got Grim Batol again. But this time from the start.

I steeled myself. I could do it. The first trash mobs were easy & I found myself somewhat relaxing (by which I mean I unclenched my teeth by a millimetre and finally exhaled). We then had to jump on the dragons. First problem. It was telling me to free them from the net first. That wasn’t in the normal. Anything that takes me by surprise in an instance removes my  ability to think or move my character. This doesn’t make for great gaming skills. I sat there for a second and then attacked the net- feebly- with my staff  as a bludgeon. It didn’t work. I’ll have to use arcane barrage  I thought, but the logics of this bothered me. How could I arcane barrage the net without killing the dragon?  This would defeat the whole purpose surely. By now of course everyone else  was  flying & merrily bombing away- I was calculating the angle of my barrage. Finally  common sense took hold of me. I remembered how WoW actually worked  & shot the net. The dragon  survived (it’s a miracle!)  & I jumped on its back for the  bombing mission.

Once that was over (not sure how effective  I  was – I missed loads because I had my camera angle turned wrong) I landed back with the group. In  fairness they didn’t berate me for the length of time it had taken me to badly complete a relatively simple task and on we pressed.

The first boss as you know is General Umbriss. As we approached that area one of the group said, “Mage sheep the purple thing.’” I immediately froze. What bloody purple thing? I got ready to look up “purple thing Grim Batol” on the internet but there was no time. I searched around the dungeon panic stricken- shit I needed to sheep something. I didn’t know what, I couldn’t see it. I randomly targeted something that looked vaguely purple but luckily I hit my mouse wrong  (all fingers and thumbs by this stage). We hadn’t actually even started on the boss yet. There was no purple thing. Eventually I came to my senses and  typed  ”What purple thing?” “The one that comes with the boss,” was the answer. Hmm. Ok. Still didn’t really know but I decided the only thing for it was to attack the boss with the others but keep my eyes peeled for anything purple. So we started on the boss and  I kept looking when suddenly lo and behold a purple trogg appeared. I have never been so happy to see a big purple thing in my life  (insert own lewd joke  if you like). I immediately sheeped it. I felt so proud. I had been given an instruction and had carried it out unquestioningly.  Never had I been so happy to act like a mindless drone.

The second boss was fine. I even avoided the cave ins. Amazing.

The third boss got me scared. This was the one I’d died on. But I remembered the adds. I remembered the flames. I remembered to blink into and past the flames. And amazingly I did not die. YES!! I yelled at my monitor – adrenaline now really  pumping. Was this Heroic actually doable?

We progressed onto the last boss. Slow down the add on the left I was told. Oh God it was purple thing type instruction all over again. What left? Whose left. What is this thing you call left? But eventually I saw the adds emerge and I slowed one on his way to the eggs. BUT THAT’S ALL I DID. I didn’t realise it was slow then kill. I just thought I had to cause him some inconvenient mobility difficulties. I then stood in the wrong place during shadow gale & died. The thing ended as a wipe.

To be fair though they all just patiently regrouped. I ran in and again almost got lost. It suddenly occurred to me though that they were already at the boss. How could this be? I was running past the dragons at this point. I noticed I could jump on them. I started to put 2 and 2 together (chimps would have picked this up quicker than me). Still not trusting my Columbo like deductive powers  I asked the group, “How do I get to you?” “Use the dragon and jog a bit,” they said. So I did and I got there. After that the tank gave us clear  instructions. Me & a pally DPS were to slow AND kill  leftie add and the other DPS was to do the other. Made sense to me & so we did it. I also stood in the right place during shadow gale (basically threw myself at the group figuring that wherever they were standing was ok- I was too stressed to be able to identify the safe spot myself) & we downed him!!!! Grim Batol Heroic was complete!

I was over the moon. I thanked them profusely for their patience and they were lovely in return. It was a really good experience looking back but absolutely terrifying throughout. Bit like life  :)