You say never again but the next thing you know you’re the other side of a dungeon entrance in a complete panic, no idea what to do next. Yes I went in another dungeon. However, this time I needn’t have worried (well not quite so much) because I was with my guild. Those kind hearted souls had read the blog, taken pity on me & offered to accompany me on some runs. Team Playpen it’s called & it’s perfect – for me anyway – they’re far too good for it but have generously toned down their uberness to lead me by the hand through the valley of death (boss death of course – we were awesome).
The Gates of the Setting Sun was chosen by the guild’s esteemed raid leader. I guess he figured he’d try to help me deal with my insect phobia at the same time – a form of therapy almost. Of course he failed to take into account my speaking phobia too by suggesting I come onto team speak. I bravely logged on but didn’t utter a word – stubbornly typing into Party Chat even when it meant I took ages to respond to anything anyone asked me (I cannot type & play at the same time- I’m not a bloody mantid - and even they need quite sophisticated key bindings).
The group were already killing things by the time I finished collecting the quests. Indeed they coped admirably well without me – amazing what raiding level 90s can do. I joined them like a long lost hero & got ready to cast something (anything) before realising everything was dead. I quickly minimised Recount - my philosophy has always been if I can’t see it then it’s not happening (this is why I always shut my eyes tightly whenever my mother dances – in these circumstances I also find it helpful to scream NO and run from the room).
Before I knew it we were at the first boss – the Saboteur one. It felt very tank & spank to me (yes I am now using technical terms in the blog – the times they are a-changing). I just cast Arcane Blast when I could and helpfully ran round in circles when I couldn’t . Whatever we did (they did) it seemed to work & I was soon in possession of a new cloth head item. I went through my usual stress about rolling need even though it was pretty obvious they all had far better gear than me (& it was an upgrade). In the end I bravely clicked need & hoped they wouldn’t hate me.
On we ran – until we ran into Striker Ga’dok. What good fortune I thought. This turned out to be a complete nightmare. All I can remember now is fire everywhere & lots of blinking – both me and my mage. I think I heard our healer gasp at one point – probably wondering how one person could stand in so much crap quite so often. When I thought I could cast something I would try to, but GTFO would interrupt, noisily harranguing me to move along sir like an hysterical police office. Off I would jump. I felt a huge relief when it was over but I suspect it was just a fraction of what the healer felt.
I think the next encounter was a straightforward tank & spank boss (for me anyway, standing right at the back out of harm’s way. I heard our tank say, “Don’t stand in front of him, you WILL die” at one point though, and sensed there was more going on up front).
We moved on. Just as I was starting to relax (somewhat) with three bosses down, my name was mentioned in dispatches - something about me & Slowfall. I started racking my brains, trying to remember how it works in a group - if I cast on one do all get it, do I have to cast it on myself for all to get it, when do I cast etc.? Yes even the simplest instruction, “Seashell cast Slowfall” can throw me into a complete panic. Sensing my confusion the priest helpfully interceded (as priests do) & cast levitate on everyone instead, briefly saving me from further humiliation.
Yes briefly. It was not long before I was once again displaying the staggering incompetence for which I am renowned by getting my cannons confused. Our party leader had helpfully explained we had to use cannons in the fight in order to shoot the boss’s weak spot and that he wanted two dps doing this. However, I only heard part of his instructions (probably fretting about something that had happened two rooms back) & couldn’t get my bearings on the screen quickly enough to see where he was standing. I then zoomed out by accident (the zoom thingimijig works backwards on my mouse for some reason & I keep forgetting to sort it – doesn’t half get me into some scrapes). Suddenly everyone was a tiny spec on my screen. I hastily rezoomed back in & ran to what I thought was the right cannon, jumped on & got thrown right back up to the floor where the Slow Fall shenanigans had happened. $%&% I thought (yes there’s no denying – my language is quite foul when I’m in a dungeon). A patient voice sounded in the room (God, finally, I thought) & explained that I’d gone on the wrong cannon & I should just throw myself off the wall and let them heal me. It was clear that by now they had decided that even Slowfall was beyond me. I decided to prove them wrong by expertly casting it on myself & professionally floating to the ground. The response was … silence (probably awestruck).
I quite enjoyed this last encounter once I got into it, although I’d have hated it in a pug – in fact I probably would have been booted before this point what with the cannon mishap & poor dps and all. I got into running to the (right) cannon, finding the weak spot, throwing off a few blasts, then having my head rammed into a wall. Great fun. At one point there was a comment along the lines of, “Seashell is targeting the weak spot perfectly & we’re damned lucky to have her in the group.” I beamed with pride.
And then it was over. The party leader escorted me by the hand to the quest giver so that I could claim my reward (I’ve been known to exit dungeons before this point, usually so overcome with relief that I’ve survived that I forget why I came into the hellhole … I mean dungeon … in the first place). A nice cloak awaited me & lots of experience points. I thanked my guildees profusely - extremely grateful for their patience and kindness throughout. We then celebrated with a couple of glasses of darkbrew lager & before I knew it I was dancing like my mother. Good times!