Right now I‘m hardly playing WoW. My Ironman is not even twenty yet (but still alive!). Briefly played Seashell my mage over a week or so ago (nice to say hello to all my guildmates…they are lovely for letting me stay in the guild even though I’m hardly on anymore). I feel like I’m letting WoW down with my current absence from the game.
In fact I’m not playing any game at all at the moment. There is no play in my life. And I’m feeling it. I feel so blue tonight. All I do is write - I’m writing a choose your own adventure type book called Three Days & I just finished my The Guardian Spirit (just needs some editing). Most of my spare time is spent on those. And of course I’m in training for the London marathon so doing long runs every week.
I work full time & work is incredibly busy - I feel like I’m drowning there if I’m honest. I then come home & fret about work in my head. Then I try to switch my brain over to writing and my long term goals but at the same time feel exhausted! And then I go out & run.
There are so many things I’m not doing & while I know these are petty things, small indulgences, absolutely trivial matters in the greater scheme of things I still feel unhappy that I’m not currently:-
1. Going to the cinema or theatre (we did start doing that semi regularly & I loved it)
2. Cooking or going out for meals (I’m always on a diet of some sorts & always feeling guilty about what I’ve eaten)
3. Dyeing my hair (yes very very trivial- but it’s desperate!)
4. Buying new boots (my footwear is a shambles at the moment) & other clothes (everyone in work always looks better turned out than me)
5. Reading anything (I have a thousand and one books and samples yet I’m failing to actually finish reading anything)
6. Watching films I recorded at Xmas (watching any films actually – my attention span is that of a goldfish)
7. Really thinking about what I want to do around the house & doing it so I feel relaxed & happy in every room
8. Spending quality time with hubby
9. Going on walks with husband & our dog Stella
10.Playing WoW
This is a weird post I know. Just a moaning boring grumble. I have to go up the gym in 30 mins for an hour workout & I just want to curl up on the sofa. I’ve had a long day in work where no one seemed to take responsibility for anything & where I continued to be unable to say no to anything. I have another long day tomorrow. I’m cold. I nearly fell in the snow this morning. I’m overwhelmed with everything I’m not doing properly. I’m stressed in case I never think of anything to write on here again. If I don’t play WoW what’s the point of me having a WoW blog? It was all so simple when I was Bravetank the actual tank. I’ve lost my way totally. Yet I love my blog. And in fact I’m back on this wordpress.com version because I can’t get used to the whizzy bravetank.co.uk/wordpress.org blog – I regret even trying to move there. I regret buying the domain name. I regret regret regret.
I wish I could sleep for 20 hours & wake up refreshed & new & ready to start my day over – no my life over. But what would I do? And I miss Eddie my dog. And Rosie my other dog. I miss them so much. We have lovely Stella with us now – a 3 year old cross Collie & Staff from the local dogs home. I love her to bits but when I close my eyes its Eddie’s face I see.
And I think I’m living my life wrong in some way but I have no idea what to do to change it.
Puzzled. And sad.
Biggest hug. Life feels like this sometimes and winter seems to make it all worse (I’ve nearly tripped in the snow all week and it’s making me cranky). Make sure you tell your hubbie you need regular hugs and a new pair of shoes! I hope things feel a little better for you soon!
Thank you. I think you’re right about winter. Hubby made me take a break last night & watch a film with him & it did make me feel better. And yes I need to sort the shoes out!! But I think just having a break from things yesterday helped- work was better today so that’s something. I felt a little more rested. Thank you again.
I am sorry you feel this way. I do not know how to help you but I know that I understand how you feel for I have been there and sometimes go back there. I hope you feel better soon. Keep your chin up
“Life has its pains and evils – its bitter disappointments; but like a good novel and in healthful length of days, there is infinite joy in seeing the World, the most interesting of continued stories, unfold…”
Thank you. And that’s a lovely quote – a nice way of thinking about the whole unfolding of life.
Brave,
I’m sorry to hear you’re down in the dumps at the moment. Time heals all wounds, though, particularly those opened by overly-busy schedules. My wife goes through this at the beginning and end of every semester, and it’s really hard on her not to get to just put her feet up once in a while.
Do what you can when you can to allow yourself to relax, and don’t feel guilty about anything you’re doing to survive a very busy period of your life. If you’ve got to eat “non-diet” stuff, do it and remember that you’re not doing it just because you’re screwing your diet, but because you’re working, writing, and running. It’s not about doing a “good” or “bad” thing, it’s about keeping your priorities in order, which we all have to do from time to time.
Best of luck, and I hope you feel better soon!
IRONMAN!
Sincerely,
Stubborn
Thank you Stubborn. I really appreciate that. And you’re right- it’s so hard trying to be perfect with everything (ie diet!) when trying to do all the other stuff too. I like what you say about the priorities- I’m trying to make it all a priority & it’s not working. Thank you for your wise words. And for reminding me I have a goal to achieve – IROMAN!!
Hang in there. You need a little recharge time (like when your Sim is low on energy and fun)–take some time out for yourself on both. This, too, will pass. /hug
Yes I should have thought about it from the Sim angle- I am so low on energy & fun. There is a reason why we have to let our Sims play! Will try to keep remembering that. Thank you