I am a gibbering wreck. My neighbours have been around with concerned faces having heard such screaming they feared the house had been invaded by thugs. They were one step away from calling the police (or priest given the language they heard through the walls – they feared some sort of Exorcist crisis). I cry every night. Last night the futility of it all hit me and I wrapped myself up in a blankie and cried out to be in Africa again (never actually been- but I like the line …from a film with Meryl Streep – “Out of somewhere” – I forget where.)
Anyway you’ve probably guessed why I’m in such a state. The clue is in the title but just in case think orphan, inappropriate day trips for said orphan, think a Matron title that I never knew I wanted so badly (husband has offered to use it but not in quite the same context) and you have the cause of my despair. School of Hard Knocks.
What a hard soul destroying achievement. I actually howled in pain with it last night. Howled!
I have finally done it though. About 5 mins ago in fact. I can barely type for the euphoria. And relief. It’s finally over. Child, get thee back to the orphanage. Never darken my door again.
I did AB first – a few days ago. It was ok – won’t say easy but definitely the easiest of the 4. I think it is a BG I will enjoy (up until this week I’d only been in WSG under the mistaken impression that it’s the best BG for beginners – it so isn’t – I will say more on this in a sec – just getting my soapbox out of the cupboard where husband has hidden it).
Next up was AV. Well my journey into full blown insanity began here. It turned out to be basically a race against your own side to one of the towers. Everytime I heard that orphan whistle as we waited my heart sunk a little more until it was saying hello to my toes. Geewhizz – how many orphans are they in Azeroth? And why are they all little psychopaths who want to visit battlegrounds. Can’t they just occupy themselves begging or something. Then we’d start & I’d do my usual crazy nervous things (forget to mount, interrupt my own mounting to do something else like walk off a cliff, run back into the tunnel – everything but get to the head of the pack as Cynwise’s (he is a god I tell you) brilliant guide tells you quite clearly to do. What felt like one hundred attempts later I was finally able to start AV like a pro – on a mount riding in roughly the same direction as the others. I tried to head for the last two towers assuming everyone else would impatiently go for one of the first two, but I don’t know- I think everyone had the same idea – we all bottlenecked at the end several times & it got rather nasty. But then- 50th or so attempt (by now husband was giving me a wide berth as I snarled and growled at anyone & everything that came near) I found myself alone in the 2nd tower. I could not believe it. I could barely click I was so excited/nervous. But I finally did it & my whole street celebrated. Two down
Then EotS. Again sort of enjoyed that one & it didn’t take too long. But the eye of the storm was just the calm before the storm (yes I know – that sentence construction is almost Shakesperean in its profundity) – next up was WSG.
Ok soapbox is out. Leaving aside the achievement for a sec- just generally why do people say start in WSG if you’re a PVP beginner? I think it’s a tricky one to get your head around to begin with. This leads to newcomers doing it all wrong (I was one of those of course – thinking I was uber for killing the odd horde in the middle as flags sailed past me either side). And then when you do know what to do you quickly start to despise everyone who doesn’t. In this morning’s BG I was so frustrated everytime I was on my own trying to kill the efc and everyone else was out in the middle that I actually typed some stuff in chat…not abusive (although of course I did that verbally) …but asking for some support (just one person …one). Never thought I’d ever be so brave. I even ended up grabbing the Horde flag at one point (even though I was trying to get the achievement) because I was so fed up of no one else doing it (they were all on a killing spree in the middle of the field). I then ran on my own across the field – no back up – until 5 or 6 Hordies killed me & made some gestures I then ressed, ran back in & found the efc & tried my best to down him – taking out the healer first. But the efc was well defended and there was no one else around me & so again I failed again. And my bloody freeloading orphan was no use – just stood around playing marbles or something. I tried to sell him to the Horde to use in the lumber mills but they weren’t having it.
I really think this achievement should be changed. Let it be pick up an enemy flag with your orphan out at least (much easier), or win a WSG with orphan out. In fact perhaps all four of the BG ones should be the latter because at least that would encourage the right BG behaviours and team spirit (I think) as opposed to an often selfish achievement focused dog eat dog (and cat tickle cat?) affair.
But I will say my pvp skills have improved through doing so many of these BGs. I respecced frost yesterday, reglyphed, gemmed etc. My resilience is up to 2400 which isn’t brilliant I know but is heading in the right direction. I have fine tuned my action bar. And I’m doing all sorts of snazzy things like freezing, ice lancing, cold coning, deep freezing, ice cubing, refrigerating & thawing (when I’m unplugged). Eat your heart out Mr Frosty. My reactions are definitely getting quicker. Had a bit of a nightmare earlier though- was trying to bring a healer down & was throwing everything at him but to no avail. Then I ran a bit further on & saw another healer hidden behind the wall healing him. The bloody swines. What’s that all about? Just not cricket. Froze them both & run away in a relatively dignified manner (hands flailing a bit I admit).
But what of the WSG orphan achievement? Well I have finally done it – but it was all down to a lovely Hordie who let himself be killed repeatedly while a group of us queued up to return the flag. And we all helped each other until everyone had it (aside from the 1st person who returned the flag & then promptly left without saying a word). It was a lovely display of kindness and generosity. Then once we all had the achievement normal battleground resumed & – guess what- I bloody returned the flag again! BG after BG I’ve failed to do it with my orphan out – then afterwards I do it with relative (ish) ease. I even found myself calling out strats by the end of that BG- confidence reaching ridiculous heights. And we won!!! And I gained lots of honor. What a day And finally finally you can all call me Matron