I make it a point to always say “Hello” when I go in a dungeon. I used to say “Hi” but I’ve discovered “Hello” gets more responses (more detailed statistical analysis to follow). “Hello” breaks down social barriers in a way “Hi” doesn’t. Have considered other greetings in the past. Seen the odd “Yo” but it sounds more street than I am (the sea is more street than I am). Was going to try a Welsh approach but it’s the same word just spelled slightly differently which will just look like a typo and not get me off to a flying start with a group whose respect I crave. Have thought about coming right out and saying what I want to say, basically “Hi please be friendly and don’t criticise my tanking/dps/healing”. But that sounds too pathetic even for me. Did once announce that healer and I were married and that definitely eased the tensions (not between me and husband mind but the others in the group decided to just relax and watch their very own WoW domestic soap opera as it unfolded before their eyes).
This greeting business matters to me. I am amazed at how often people say nothing. Why are people so rude and ignorant? I can normally tell how a group will be by the number of hellos you get back.
None -Is there an echo? No not even that. You’re on your own friend and if you’re the tank god help you because even the healer has taken an instant dislike.
One- Aww bless – there’s a dps in the group clearly scarred by a recent low recount posting and desperate for a bit of love. A possible ally if it gets nasty later although these types tend to stay out of the debates knowing they are soft targets for the bullies in the group. Build up their confidence by sending them frequent and encouraging whispers – they won’t find this disturbing at all.
Two- almost a threesome if you include yourself – they are meant to be fun so try to get involved otherwise these two will inevitably bond and leave you out in the cold with your your little Hello dying in the wind.
Three-craziness afoot! All turn and stare at the one that didn’t say hello. They are going to be trouble and probably a ninja. Keep your handbag tight to your chest and get your macros of abuse ready.
Four – this will be the run where nothing but purples drop, bosses are one shotted, you discover one of the group is your long lost brother and the other a recent lottery winner who has decided to share with whoever LFD give him. Then you wake up. Dribbling.
This hello business shouldn’t matter but it does. My feeling about the whole group starts with the hellos or lack of. Then the buffs – who gives what and who should give what (once I was soulstoned as a healer and nearly wasted it by dying on the spot from shock). Then of course whether the group waits for people to collect quests or not. All these little things can make such a difference to my attitude to the group and my blood pressure. But it shouldn’t. I should expect the worse and then be surprised at anything better. Instead I foolishly expect the best, receive the worse and my faith in humanity dies that little bit more.
Saying goodbye is the same. I always says “Thanks all ” It’s polite. It’s good manners. But so many people disappear without saying anything. You sort of expect it from the difficult ones in the run – they are rude and obnoxious and have no time for pleasantries. But I’m always shocked when someone nice during the run does it – I feel a little stab in my heart as if I’ve been personally let down (yes I have rejection issues….how did you tell?!) Once someone did it that I’d been really getting on with. I had even turned to my husband and said enthusiastically “Me and DXXX (protecting his anonymity even though I don’t think he reads this) are so alike!” I’d only done one or two dungeons with him but I knew- the way you do (or at least the way I in my over the top way know these things). We had bonded. Anyway we were getting on really well and agreed to do more runs together. He was a tank. I was a healer (sing this to the tune of Avril Lavigne’s Skaterboi …. you can work out how it ends). It seemed to be a match made in WoW heaven. Then he disappeared. I felt crushed. What had it meant? Had that talk of more groups been empty promises? Was he getting his heals somewhere else? I was confused and bereft for all of 30 seconds. Agony. Then suddenly he whispered me. How could this happen? I looked around – amazed. “I’m on your server!” he said. I almost cried tears of joy. We could still group together. Told my husband what was happening. He didn’t look too pleased – not sure why. Anyway – this odd disturbing tank healer fairytale did not last long. He quickly outlevelled me since I play so many alts my progress is sporadic at best. Once he whispered me a few weeks later for old times sake but we knew it was over. Someone in their 40s and someone in their 60s can’t be together. It’s too hard. The difference is too much. We never did say goodbye.
So greetings and farewells are important I think. You can tell alot about the player from what they say and do in that regard. What I think you can tell about me is that I’m an obsessive over-polite approval seeking soul who frets about creating a good impression even on people that have no interest whatsoever in their fellow players aside from often an almost pathological desire to abuse. For me too redemption for appalling behaviour in a run seems to come at the very low price of a cheery goodbye, and the benefit of the doubt is with you forever if you say hello. Manners maketh man even when you’ve got nothing else going for you it seems.